Weird Universe Archive

September 2014

September 12, 2014

Gospel Rap



"Halfway down the stairs I see a major stain on my shirt." That's keepin' it real!

Posted By: Paul - Fri Sep 12, 2014 - Comments (5)
Category: Bombast, Bloviation and Pretentiousness, Ineptness, Crudity, Talentlessness, Kitsch, and Bad Art, Music, Religion

Liturgical Pez Dispenser

Dispenses up to 140 communion wafers before it needs to be refilled! (Not actually made by Pez.) Available from Amazon.

Posted By: Alex - Fri Sep 12, 2014 - Comments (8)
Category: Religion

September 11, 2014

Kaiser Wilhelm Toilet Paper

I knew that it's popular to put politician's faces on toilet paper (for instance, Amazon sells Obama toilet paper as well as Mitt Romney toilet paper), but I didn't realize that these kind of novelty products were being sold even back in World War I. [via Daily Mail]

Posted By: Alex - Thu Sep 11, 2014 - Comments (12)
Category: Bathrooms, Baths, Showers and Other Cleansing Methods, 1910s

John and Mary Newlywed

image

In 1925 and 1926, Popular Science featured the antics of "John and Mary Newlywed," a young married couple so stupid they did everything wrong around the house. In the instance above from March 1926, John and Mary--despite having perfected anti-gravity as attested to by the unsupported car--are about to blow themselves up and smother themselves with gas fumes.

I regret the Newlyweds did not have a longer run. They would have been the Gallant-less Goofuses of the hobbyist set.

Posted By: Paul - Thu Sep 11, 2014 - Comments (20)
Category: Husbands, Wives, 1920s, Goofs and Screw-ups

September 10, 2014

Death by Parrot

It sounds like the parrot had it in for Mrs. Fannie Stewart. Source: Los Angeles Times, Sep 25, 1947.

Posted By: Alex - Wed Sep 10, 2014 - Comments (8)
Category: Animals, Death, 1940s

September 9, 2014

How to kiss a girl

Whatever you do, don't kiss a girl unless she uses Listerated Pepsin Gum, the chewing gum that makes it safe to kiss!

Posted By: Alex - Tue Sep 09, 2014 - Comments (8)
Category: Love & Romance

A Case for Beer



The 60s: when the menace of beer was apparently worse than heroin.

Posted By: Paul - Tue Sep 09, 2014 - Comments (14)
Category: PSA’s, Retail Establishments, 1960s, Alcohol

September 8, 2014

Chocolate Teapot

Science has solved the problem of how to make a chocolate teapot that can withstand boiling water long enough to let the tea brew for two minutes before pouring. And if you don't stir the water in the pot (that's the key — don't stir the water!) the tea comes out with only a slight hint of chocolate. [telegraph]

Posted By: Alex - Mon Sep 08, 2014 - Comments (13)
Category: Food, Chocolate

Last Week in Weird (September 8, 2014)

Last Week in Weird
datelines 8/28/2014--9/5/2014
[Links, chronological, on Extended page]
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

The Aristocrats! Another co-worker hoping for a date by . . ejaculating in the lady’s coffee--always a sure way to win her heart! And an F-State flasher, waving his stuff around while in pink panties and bra . . and age 81.

At the Arizona-Mexico border, armed militia from Colorado confronted . . well, a group of conservationists studying a nighttime habitat of bats. The militia apologized.

A local San Leandro, Calif., marijuana ring was busted, with authorities all fertoutst over finding AK-47 assault rifles with orange plastic tips on the barrels to make them sorta look like toys. (Bonus: Two arrested kingpins: Mike Er and Tony Ho.)

Unclear on the Concept: Well, 10 Texas school districts did get surplus military guns ‘n’ armor, but to calm the public, everything’s locked in an armory when not used for training, and therefore if a school shooting incident occurs, the school officer can go get the heavy weapons to defend the students . . in, oh, a half-hour, 45 minutes, or so. (The median school shooting spree lasts 12 minutes.)

A Frenchman was jailed for acting like a Japanese woman--phoning and texting his ex- about their break-up a total of 21,807 times (average of 73 a day for 10 months).

Philip Hansen was charged in New Zealand with a tooth-pulling habit he seemed to have with three women he dated (using pliers during sex). (Seriously.)

The New Normal: Robert Morris University in downtown Chicago is going all-in on establishing a collegiate video game championship team, offering varsity scholarships.

For the multitudes who consult the U.S. Forest Service website before roasting marshmallows (which is n=0), the website’s blog tells you how to do so expertly and safely. Just what we need gov’t for!

For the 12th consecutive year, Japanese porn actresses have raised money for AIDS research by offering their hootage for squeezing. Pay your money, put on the latex glove, squeeze ‘em, ka-ching!

Lame: Jahanna Baez-Rodriguez, 20, got caught with an actual hand-drawn Massachusetts license plate affixed to her car. (And way-poorly hand-drawn, at that.)

Cruel and Unusual? The penalty in Colorado for texting while driving is . . you get a guardrail pole through your thigh and buttocks, and you barely avoid bleeding out.

That silly ice-bucket challenge sent a man to critical condition in Spain when he agreed to endure a fire-dousing airplane’s dropping 396 gallons of water on him from 22 ft up. And it says here that, anyway, nearly half of all people taking the challenge fail to follow through. [We First-Worlders excel at thinking up ways to make ourselves feel good!]

The Washington Times loves that federal obese-homosexual study that’s now in its 4th yr. Feds have spent nearly $3m answering the burning question of why, exactly, gay males appear so hot but lesbians, well, have less “athletic self-esteem.” Just what we need gov’t for!

Newsrangers: Shannon Russ, Steve Dunn, and Steven Lobejko, and the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.


More in extended >>

Posted By: Chuck - Mon Sep 08, 2014 - Comments (8)
Category:

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Who We Are
Alex Boese
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction books such as Elephants on Acid.

Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.

Chuck Shepherd
Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre.

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