It turns out that there is a serious debate being waged as to whether lobsters can really be hypnotized. One scientist I spoke to said that a lobster can be "tonically immobilized," but not hypnotized. As far as I can tell, tonic immobilization just means that after being rubbed on the top of its shell, just behind its eyes, the lobster seems to lose any will to move and can be stood on its beak and claws in a kind of tripod arrangement. And the lobster seems content to just stay like this, balanced on its beak and claws. But I don't speak lobster, so it's really hard to say what is on the mind of a tonically immobilized lobster that has been forced to do a headstand.

Some people swear this ritual makes the meat taste better if the lobster is thrown into the boiling water while still under "hypnosis." We carried out a double-blind taste test on our back porch one evening, and I thought all the boiled lobster tasted great.

You'll be amazed at how easy it is. In this very authoritative, informative and thoroughly entertaining album, Chef Claude takes you on a most delightful musical, educational and palate-pleasing tour of the world of crêpes. He teaches you — in record time — a simple, fool-proof technique for making these delicate, paper-thin pancakes.

To investigate these issues, we prospectively studied participants in a jalapeno-pepper eating contest. Subjects included three women and two men ranging in age from 22 to 42. None had a history of lacrimation, rhinorrhea, dysuria or discomfort on defecation before the contest. One was a smoker, and one had cough and scanty sputum production before the contest.

After giving informed consent, subjects consumed as many large jalapenos as could be tolerated in a three-minute period. The number of peppers consumed ranged from three to 13, with a median of five. Three of the participants noted lacrimation and rhinorrhea immediately after the contest. In none did cough or sputum production develop. One male subject complained of dysuria, and four of five noted a burning discomfort on defecation within 24 hours of the contest.

The limited information obtained from this study does not indicate clinical usefulness of jalapeno as an expectorant. We believe that jalapenos may well be the cause of transient dysuria and, in addition, may result in a syndrome of burning defecation that might appropriately be termed "jalaproctitis."