Category:
TV News

Woodstock X 3

A little late for the anniversary, but still, I hope, of interest.









Posted By: Paul - Tue Sep 13, 2022 - Comments (2)
Category: Music, Parades and Festivals, Bohemians, Beatniks, Hippies and Slackers, 1960s, TV News

Pro Speech 2

"... they found that to get rid of nuclear weapons is, actually, costly because you have to pay to modernize the nuclear weapons to keep them as a deterrent."
Fox: Jennifer Griffin
Double speak? Teleprompter problems?

[web security] "... experts suggest that one solution is to isolate our sensitive materials from the general use of the internet."
Fox: Dominic Di-Natale
In other words, if you don't have an internet account you'll never have the opportunity to help our Nigerian neighbors. Good thinking!

"If you think about all the jobs that are out there, being an airline pilot is PROBUBLY one that has a lot of responsibility..."
Fox: (Interviewee) Scott Brenner, FMR Sr. FAA Official
Hopefully, Scott's replacement is SURE that the job of airline pilot has a lot of responsibility.

"Eating at least three servings of blueberries and strawberries a week can reduce the risk of heart attack by 32%. And eating onions five times a week even better; lowering the risk by 73%.
ABC: Diane Sawyer reporting on a study of women's health.
Sorry, guys, this 105% protection is only for the girls.

"People are beginning to see that unions are out to help union workers .."
FOX: Sabrina Schaeffer, Exectutive Dir., Independent Women's Forum
I agree 100%, unions are (at least supposed to be) for their members!

"The 'Hello Kitty' bubble gun is similar to this one except it's pink and it has a picture of 'Hello Kitty' on it. .... when you pull the trigger it shoots out bubbles."
ABC: The news personallity wasn't named but, if you watch the clip I'm sure you'll understand why you, too, wouldn't want your name associated with it.
Click here for more on this topic.

"It's clear that one reason that the poverty rate has tended to, ah, move up over time, holding other things equal, is because we have more single parents and they're much more likely to be poor."
Fox: Isabel Sawhill, Sr. Fellow, Brookings Institute
Single mothers are poor and poor people are single mothers. I get it!
I went over to their web-site to see what they're all about. It looks to be a salt lick for experts. http://brookings.edu

Posted By: Expat47 - Sun Jan 20, 2013 - Comments (2)
Category: TV News

Pro Speech 1

Every morning I sample the previous day's offering from the 24hr news channels where one expects to find the apex of professional journalism. And, for the most part, they do a pretty good job but, from time to time, the need to fill the airways with voice out stripes the abilities of these reporters. Scripted or not the inanity of some of the statements is just too hard to ignore.

Headlines that lie like a cheap rug are also going to be mentioned as they are totally out of control and should be, in many cases, reported to the Better Business Bureau for false advertisement!

Following in the footsteps of He Who Blazed the Trail I've already retired some of the most inane verbal ejaculations of our time:
"you know what?" If I knew what then I'd not have to be listening to you!

"like": like, you know, like if you don't know, like why "like" is, like not
going to be, like, you know, actually listed here then, you know what,
you're not like paying attention.

So, you know what, here I hope to actually spearhead a section where we can hold these pros up to the light and, like, have a chuckle at their expense. Of course, this is all done in good fun and not meant to be vicious or condescending in any way, actually.

The rules are simple:
1) The speaker has to be a pro. ie: on the payroll.

2) You can use the ramblings of the interviewee if the interviewer's choice is incapable of shedding any light on the story. ie: The "suspect's" next door neighbor's second cousin's dog walker's brother.

3) Where possible the pro's name and affiliation should be given full credit but the interviewees must remain anonymous. (They didn't spend 4 years and $120,000 learning to talk.)

"Many of the same investigators were back at the theatre in July."
ABC: Clayton Sandell
Really??? You mean Aurora, CO reuses their detectives??? How energy
efficient of them.

"Gorillas, who share 97% of our DNA are soooo similar to us!"
ABC: Dan Harris
You mean except for the hair, long arms, stance, and copious amounts of
ugly?

"... the actual, alleged rape ...."
FOX: Megyn Kelly
She's actually alleged to have possibly said something like this, maybe.

(When highlining) "you need a good sense of balance too!"
DW News: Louise Houghton
Highlining is slack-rope walking across mountain peaks so, yea, balance
would come in handy.

Lottery Winner Murdered: Widow Questioned By Police
ABC: Catchy headline but no where in the clip was murder mentioned

Sleep-Drug Dose Lowered in Effort to Curb Drowsiness Dangers
ABC: If you don't want to sleep, why'd you take a sleep-drug?
Lisa Stark then takes the drug, gets into a driving simulator, and falls
(wait for it......) ASLEEP! Seriously powerful reporting!

Posted By: Expat47 - Sun Jan 13, 2013 - Comments (8)
Category: TV News

Baldwin Hills Dam Disaster



Today we are used to seeing disasters unfold live on TV. But in 1963, it was all new.

More info here.

Posted By: Paul - Sun Sep 23, 2012 - Comments (5)
Category: Disasters, 1960s, TV News

Topical Chinese Animation



The late-night NBC talkshow wars as a superhero battle? Why not?

Posted By: Paul - Tue Feb 02, 2010 - Comments (3)
Category: Cartoons, TV News, Asia





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Alex Boese
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction, science-themed books such as Elephants on Acid and Psychedelic Apes.

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