[Chorus]
I'm your pimp
I wear my hat to the side, and walk with a limp
I'm your pimp
I wear my hat to the side, and walk with a limp
[Verse 1]
Babe, I don't just have to do
You better believe I don't don't don't
'Cause I cheat, scheme and connive now baby
And got everything I want
And oh, don't you talk back to me
You better listen when I speak, yeah
If I wanna curse, slap or hurt you
Just turn the other cheek, because
[Chorus]
I'm your pimp
I wear my hat to the side, and walk with a limp
I'm your pimp
I wear my hat to the side, and walk with a limp
[Verse 2]
My main purpose in life is winning and cheating
You you you, wow
I don't care what race you are
Just as long as I'm beating you you you you you
Let me have all the diamonds and the riches, girl
While I'm alive, yeah
And I guarantee, as soon as you're dead
These things for you will arrive, remember
[Chorus]
I'm your pimp
I wear my hat to the side, and walk with a limp
I'm your pimp
I wear my hat to the side, and walk with a limp
[Outro]
I'm your pimp
I'm your pimp
I'm your pimp
I'm your pimp, I'm your pimp
I'm your pimp, I'm your pimp, I'm your pimp
I'm your pimp
I'm your pimp, I'm your pimp
I'm your pimp, I'm your pimp, I'm your pimp
We posted recently about "misdirected amplexus," which is the phenomenon of male frogs attempting to mate with inappropriate objects (different species, fish, inanimate objects, etc.).
Turns out that the weird frog sex behaviors don't end there. Male frogs, in their excitement, will occasionally form "mating balls" — "several male frogs cling to a single female – often killing her in the process."
Some German researchers have now found that female frogs, in turn, have developed defense strategies to protect themselves from over-excited males. They rotate to try to escape the male's grasp; they emit "release calls"; and if those strategies fail to work, they play dead:
to protect themselves against swarms of sexually aroused male frogs, the female frogs stiffly extend their arms and legs away from the body, keeping incredibly still until the male releases them from its grasp.
We posted recently about some odd sexual behavior demonstrated by frogs (their frequent attempts to mate with inappropriate objects). Male rats also display an odd behavior. When they need to rest from mating, they sing an ultrasonic "leave me alone" song.
"Misdirected amplexus" is the scientific term for the curious phenomenon of male frogs attempting to mate with inappropriate objects. Details from the New Scientist
Mating frogs may have been occasionally getting it wrong for hundreds of millions of years. We know that males today will sometimes select an inappropriate partner during the breeding season – a frog from a different species, a turtle, a fish or even an inanimate object. Now there is evidence that these mistaken attachments could be an ancient feature of frog reproduction, arising early in the amphibians’ evolution.
Frog mating is often hard to miss. In most species it involves a process called amplexus, in which males grip onto a female tightly for hours or days at a time until the eggs are fertilised. But there are plenty of records of male frogs grappling an unpromising target such as a frog from a different species or a dead individual. One explanation is that such mistakes are more likely to happen in species that breed in large numbers with a low ratio of females to males, and where multiple species occupy the same breeding pond.
I briefly discussed the subject of misdirected mating in the animal kingdom in my book Elephants on Acid. Here's the relevant text:
Konrad Lorenz once observed a Shell Parakeet who grew amorous with a small celluloid ball. And many other animals exhibit mating behavior toward what researchers refer to as "biologically inappropriate objects." Bulls will treat almost any restrained animal as a receptive cow. Their general rule in life seems to be, "if it doesn't move away and can be mounted, mount it!"
During the early 1950s, researchers at Walter Reed Army Medical Center surgically damaged the amygdala (a region of the brain) in a number of male cats. These cats became "hypersexual," attempting to mate with a dog, a female rhesus monkey, and an old hen. Four of these hypersexual cats, placed together, promptly mounted one another.
A fringe theological theory, advanced by Rev. Robert Kirsch, holding that a Catholic priest could have sex without violating his vows as long as the sex was passionless. The church rejected his theory.
Albuquerque Journal - Nov 18, 1992 (click to enlarge)
The case of the cable car nymphomaniac is a classic weird news story. Less well known, but along similar lines, is the case of the sauna bath nymphomaniac.
Maria Parson claimed that the trauma of being accidentally locked in a sauna for half-an-hour due to a faulty door handle caused her to develop a split personality. She came to have three personalities: "sex-hungry Maria" who prowled bars picking up men, "remorseful Betty" who bitterly resented Maria's escapades, and her submerged real self.
She sued the health spa for $1 million, but lost — even though she was represented by the same lawyer who had secured a win for the cable car nymphomaniac.
The subtext in the ad is obvious. Fur rugs, fake or real, are for making love on. It's the staple of a thousand PLAYBOY cartoons.
But where did the trope originate? Most likely with writer Elinor Glyn. Her novel THREE WEEKS (read it here) featured such a scene that became so notorious, it inspired some doggerel.
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.