News of the Weird 2.0
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule
Prime Cuts of Underreported News from Last Week, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
June 10, 2013
(datelines June 1-June 8) (links correct as of June 9)
© 2013 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
★ ★ ★ ★!
Another Breatharian Sees the Light: Seattle’s Navenna Shine says the only reason there aren’t more “breatharians” (no food intake, just air and sun) is that everybody assumes it doesn’t work--that practitioners always sneak Doritos from time to time. She says she has she set up a full video-surveillance household to prove that, when she beats it, it’ll be legitimate. She’s 30 days into it, she said, and she’s still among the living. The leading theoretician, a woman named Ellen Greve, is mysteriously still alive so she must’ve gone off the wagon at some point, but little is known. (Bonus musing: Why would anyone dependent on sunlight
choose to live in Seattle
It’s the law in Texas that you’re allowed to fire at will at anyone trespassing in your home at night--or are trying to recover property in your home, even when it’s a hooker who took your money, then declined to put out. Hence, a jury found Ezekiel Gilbert not guilty of murder. San Antonio Express-News
Unclear on the Concept: Prominent poet-artist Kenneth Goldsmith is apparently going ahead with his July 26-August 30 project to, um, print out the Internet. His intention is to honor the late information-freeing god Aaron Swartz, but still . . .. PSFK.com
The gourmet lollipop company Lollyphile of Austin, Tex., has introduced breast-milk-flavored suckers. Said the owner, “We’d like to think that we’re tapping into a flavor our customers loved before they even knew how to think.” Huffington Post
More Things to Worry About
Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Nikolas Chugay introduced a torturous weight-loss treatment (good for 30 lbs. in one month, but no renewals) consisting to sewing a piece of plastic gauze onto the tongue that makes eating so painful that you can only drink Ensures. There are no renewals because anything longer than a month risks the tongue’s growing over the gauze. World’s Greatest Newspaper
As if IRS didn’t have enough to worry about, its Inspector General for Tax Administration admitted to Congress that people filing for low-income tax credits are free to cheat. Even though IRS disburses about $13.6bn to them, which is just about its annual administration budget, it’s not cost-effective to chase such low-level cheats. CNS News
Robert Dugan, 47, became one of those rare police officers who managed to get himself arrested for impersonating a police officer. (Oh, and as long as we’re on ironies, ummm, last week’s Earth Wind & Fire concert in Virginia was postponed because of “rain,” and a couple who had been hosting “In Pursuit of Happiness” on WBAI Radio in New York City committed suicide.) Delaware County Daily Times
/// Pavilion Concerts
/// New York Daily News
Cynthis Siau, 60, stabbed the hell out of her new husband (while arguing over the TV remote) and was also charged with
resisting arrest with violence
resisting arrests with incontinence. WRDW-TV
The delightful Moore family of Mason, Ohio, showed a lady friend of Shena Moore just what they do to women who send texts to Shena’s boyfriend. They try to cut off his texting fingers with pruning shears. Among the perps: Shena’s dad, the full-appetited Gerald Moore Jr., 49, who used his cane. (Bonus: mugshots!) Mason Buzz via World’s Greatest Newspaper
Here’s the normal-looking Gerardo Perez, charged with having sex with a pit bull. (Bonus: “He was allegedly on his hands and knees on the side of the dog, appearing to have just had sex with the animal, prosecutors said.) (“Appearing”? Like smoking a cigarette?) WMAQ-TV
Far-Right Extremists Chased Through London by Women Dressed as Badgers --- International Business Times
Man, 66, Goes to Doctor and Finds He’s a Woman --- South China Morning Post
Secret Man Caves Found in EPA Warehouse --- Government Executive
Homeless Man Claimed “Adverse Possession” of Home, Along with Beer and Kid Inside --- South Florida Sun-Sentinel
Strange Old World
First prize last week in the Swedish pizza championships, which drew some of the top chefs in the country, was “Karlsson” of the restaurant Speceriet, with a pie topped with pickled cabbage, sour cream, and smoked beef bone marrow. The Local
How Veddy British! Carole Longhorn found a WWII bomb in her godden, and eventually the bomb squad came to take care of it, but first, Carole felt she had to wash it off in the sink. (Said hubby Clive, to reporters: “You can imagine what I said to her.”) BBC News
The Brazilian health ministry, apparently as concerned as Americans and British are about how to cure low self-esteem, now say they might have gone too far. They’re dropping their anti-STD campaign that featured “I’m happy being a prostitute.” BBC News
The local council in Brunete, Spain, 20 miles from Madrid, has now seen a radical drop in unscooped dog poop after 147 parcels went out recently. Volunteers who spotted derelict owners innocently engaged them in conversation (“what’s your doggy’s name?”), then matched the dog with town registrations, then mailed
the poop to the owner (as “lost property”). Genius! Daily Telegraph
Newsrangers: Hal Dunham and Bruce Leiserowitz, and the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors
I've included two of my favorite pictures from this website which shows some great behind the scene photos from movies including "Alien", "Blade Runner", "Metropolis", "Superman", "Star Wars", "Godzilla" and many others.
You can't call a guy enjoying toast and tea a monster.
You can even see R2-D2 in an altered state!!
Here's the link:
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M322, June 9, 2013
Copyright 2013 by Chuck Shepherd
Editor's Note: As a service to WU'vies who keep up with their daily reading, I've marked the stories that I've previously mentioned on News of the Weird 2.0, even though I often do a better job explaining a story the second time around and even though many of us WU'vies, almost by definition, are here because we have delicate attention spans.
PREVIOUSLY ON WEIRD UNIVERSE: The Food and Drug Administration proposed recently to limit the quantity of tiny “mites” that could occupy imported cheese, even though living, crawling mites are a feature desired by aficionados. (“Cheese is absolutely alive!” proclaimed microbiologist Rachel Dutton, who runs the “cheese laboratory” at Harvard University.) In fact, cheese is home to various molds, bacteria, and yeasts, which give it flavor, and sellers routinely use blowers to expel excessive critters, but the FDA now wants to limit them to 6 bugs per square inch. However, according to a May report on NPR, lovers of some cheeses, especially the French Mimolette, object, asserting both an indifference to the sight of mites creeping around--and a fear of taste-loss (since the mites burrow into the hunk, aerating it and extending the flavor). [NPR, 5-11-2013
PREVIOUSLY: Energy West, the natural gas supplier in Great Falls, Mont., had tried recently to raise awareness of leaks by distributing scratch-and-sniff cards to residents exposing gas’s distinctive, rotten-egg smell. In May, workers cast aside several cartons of leftover cards, which were hauled off and disposed of by crushing--which released the scent and produced a massive blanket of odor over downtown Great Falls, resulting in a flurry of panicked calls to firefighters about gas leaks. [Great Falls Tribune
PREVIOUSLY (1), NOT (2): Well, Of Course! (1) The Ypsalanti, Mich., City Council voted in May on a resolution that would have required the members always to vote either “yes” or “no” (to thus reduce the recent, annoying number of “abstain” votes). The resolution to ban abstaining failed because three of the six members abstained. (2) Doctors told a newspaper in Stockholm in April that at least one of Sweden’s premier modeling agencies, looking for recruits, had been caught passing out business cards adjacent to the country’s largest eating-disorder clinic, forcing the clinic to change its rules on patients taking outside walks. [Associated Press via WHTM-TV
(Harrisburg, Pa.), 5-23-2013] [The Local
PREVIOUSLY: The United Nations-funded multilateral forum on arms control agreements (its Conference on Disarmament) was chaired beginning May 27th (until June 23rd) by Iran, which, for that time, at least, had the awkward job of overseeing resolutions on nuclear non-proliferation, which the country is widely thought to be ignoring. [Fox News
Unclear on the Concept: (1) Ruben Pavon was identified by surveillance video in Derry, N.H., in April snatching a grill from the front porch of a thrift store. Pavon explained to police that the store’s name, “Finders Keepers,” indicated to him that the objects were free for the taking and admitted that he had previously taken items from the porch. (2) In May, Los Angeles police bought back 1,200 guns in one of the periodic U.S. buy-back programs, but they declined to accept the pipe bomb a man said he wanted to sell. “This is not a pipe-bomb buyback,” said Chief Charlie Beck. “Pipe bombs are illegal . . ..” [WMUR-TV
(Manchester, N.H.), 5-1-2013] [KCBS-TV
(Los Angeles, 5-6-2013]
More in extended >>
British actress Jane Bough
appeared in TV series such as Upstairs, Downstairs
(1972) and Anne of Green Gables
(1952), but she may be best remembered as the pioneer of the "budgie in a hat," variations of which she to various horse races during the summer of 1968.