Weird Universe Archive

January 2015

January 13, 2015

The Collector

The Collector from Stas Santimov on Vimeo.

Posted By: Paul - Tue Jan 13, 2015 - Comments (2)
Category: Surrealism, Cartoons, Collectors

January 12, 2015

Little Irvy the Frozen Whale

"Little Irvy" was a 20-ton whale harpooned on July 1, 1967, destined to be sold as dog food. But instead his body was bought by showman Jerry "Tyrone" Malone, who froze it with liquid nitrogen and then spent the next 25 years hauling it around the United States in a refrigerated truck, displaying it as a sideshow attraction. Malone advertised Little Irvy with a sign that read, "This exhibit is dedicated to the preservation of whales."

Read more about Little Irvy in Dewey Webb's article at Webb notes that, because of freezer burn, Little Irvy looked "less like a whale than... a gigantic semideflated tire that's lost its tread."

Malone also wrote a children's book about his adventures on the road with Little Irvy. You can buy a used copy of this book at Amazon for $46.11. But if you want a new copy it'll apparently cost you $6,946.01, which, since the book is 42 pages long, is $165.38 a page.

Posted By: Alex - Mon Jan 12, 2015 - Comments (6)
Category: Fish, 1960s

Toxic Psalms

Just in case you can't discern the merits or purpose of this piece on your own, here is The New York Times to explain it all for you.

Posted By: Paul - Mon Jan 12, 2015 - Comments (4)
Category: Experts and Authority Figures, Ineptness, Crudity, Talentlessness, Kitsch, and Bad Art, Avant Garde, Dance, Cacophony, Dissonance, White Noise and Other Sonic Assaults

January 11, 2015

News of the Weird, January 11, 2015

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M405, January 11, 2015
Copyright 2015 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

People’s love for their pets reached a new high in December when a British man paid a veterinarian the equivalent of $500 to perform delicate surgery on a sick office goldfish (typical pet store “replacement” price: $1-$5). Vet Faye Bethell of North Walsham, England, told the Eastern Daily Press in December that there was “nothing special” about the fish but that the customer “just liked it a lot.” In fact, the goldfish likely did not even have a pet name--as Bethell in an interview spoke intimately of another patient by name (“Cadbury,” the skunk). (Bethell’s procedure involved removing the patient from the bowl, flooding its gills with anesthetic-added water, and using a tiny scalpel to remove lumps that were causing its constipation, with the surgery guided by a miniature heart-rate monitor.) [Eastern Daily Press (Norwich, England), 1-1-2015]

Iraqi TV Goes “Jerry Springer”

Iraq’s government-run channel, Iraqiyya TV, has a reality show reminiscent of American confrontational programs but designed to force captured ISIS fighters to acknowledge the pain they have created. One episode of “In the Grip of the Law” (described in a December Associated Press dispatch) showed family members of car-bombing victims on a street corner in Baghdad haranguing one of the men convicted of the crime. A young man in a wheelchair, having lost his father in the attack, faced off against the convict, screaming until the jihadist “began weeping, as the cameras rolled.” [Associated Press via New York Daily News, 12-22-2014]

Wait, What?

On November 6th, a couple (aged 68 and 65) were hospitalized after spending almost 13 hours locked in their car inside their own garage in Alexandra, New Zealand. The night before, they had been unable to remember a salesman’s tutorial on how to unlock their new Mazda 3 from the inside and had spent the night assuming they were trapped because they had forgotten to bring along the battery-operated key. The wife was unconscious when neighbors finally noticed them, and her husband was struggling to breathe. (The door unlocks manually, of course.) [Otago Daily Times, 12-13-2014]

At first, it seemed another textbook case of a wrongly-convicted murderer’s being released after a long prison stint (15 years), based on a re-examination of evidence. Illinois officials were freeing Alstory Simon, who had “confessed” in 1999 to killing two teenagers (before a defendants’ advocacy organization convinced a judge that the confession had been coerced). That 1999 confession had allowed the man previously convicted, Anthony Porter, to go free, but prosecutors in October 2014 had second--or third--thoughts. They once again believe that Porter was the killer--even though a different defendants’ advocacy organization had originally worked to free him. (In any event, “double jeopardy” prevents Porter’s re-trial.) [Reuters via Yahoo News, 10-30-2014]

Undersheriff Noel Stephen of Okeechobee County, Fla., acknowledged to WPBF-TV in December that among the public services his office performs is supervising parents’ spanking of children. After two sisters argued on December 29th, their father decided to administer a whipping to one and asked Deputy Stephen to drop by and make sure he stayed within the law. That’s “not something we advertise to do,” said the deputy, but he estimates he has monitored about a dozen spankings. [WPBF-TV (West Palm Beach), 12-31-2014]

Government in Action

The Government Accountability Office was on the job in December, issuing an emphatic ruling that the National Weather Service could not legally issue its workers disposable cups, plates, and utensils on the job. Such items are “personal,” GAO declared, even though most NWS facilities are in remote locations, staffed by two-person shifts that almost force employees to eat on the premises. “You can’t run out” and “grab a burger,” one employee said. Nonetheless, after a lengthy deliberative process, GAO said its decision is final. [Washington Post, 12-30-2014]

In a November ruling, France’s Minister of Housing and Minister of Ecology jointly announced further streamlining of law books, removing bulky, out-of-date regulations. Among the rescissions, beginning December 1st, is the ban on installing toilets in kitchens. [The Local (Paris), 11-12-2014]

Best Recent Foreign News

Championship-Level Theft: China’s reported in December the arrest of a man in Yulin City, accused of stealing more than 2,000 items of underwear from women in his neighborhood, taken within the last year. He hid his stash above ceiling tiles in stairwells in his apartment building, but he drew attention when one of the ceiling spaces caved in from the weight of the garments, showering the stairs in an array of colors. (Just within the last month, according to Hong Kong’s South China Morning Post, two other men, in Zhejiang and Hubei provinces, have been detained for similar crimes.) [South China Morning Post, 12-21-2014]

British makeup artist Jordan James Parke, 23, told London’s The Sun in December how he had fallen in love with the look of U.S. celebrity Kim Kardashian and thus had forced himself to spend the equivalent of about $150,000 on “more than 50" cosmetic procedures to adopt her “pouty” look, including lip and cheek fillers, eyebrow tattoos, and laser hair removal. “I love everything about Kim . . . the most gorgeous woman ever,” he said. “Her skin is perfect, her hair, everything about her” (except that, in The Sun report, only her parts above the neck were mentioned). [People Magazine, 12-18-2014]

Artist Megumi Igarashi, 42, known as “no-good girl” in Japan, taunted officials with over-the-top pornography twice in 2014, first in July when she painted a kayak in the image of her genitals and then sought donations by sending contributors data on how to make a 3-D-printed model of her vulva. In her December arrest, according to a BBC News dispatch, she had complained of the contradictions in Japanese culture (also cited in previous News of the Weird stories) that allow glorified public displays of the penis as a symbol of fertility but banish the vulva from public sight. [BBC News, 12-24-2014]

Recurring Themes

Hopeful Signs for the New Year: (1) Police in Phoenix estimate celebratory gunfire into the air on New Year’s Eve was down 22 percent from last year, since the department received reports on only 206 bullets discharged without concern for where they would land. (2) Police in Paris estimated that 12 percent fewer cars were set on fire in France on New Year’s Eve, with only 940 strangers’ vehicles mindlessly torched instead of last year’s 1,067. [Associated Press via Tucson News Now, 1-1-2015] [Associated Press via ABC News, 1-1-2015]

Recurring, With Different Result: A court in Buenos Aires, Argentina, granted a “habeas corpus” petition in December ordering the freedom of a Sumatran orangutan from Buenos Aires Zoo. “Sandra,” age 29, is a “non-human person” and thus sufficiently advanced in “cognitive function” not to be merely an object that humans can own without obligation. A Reuters report found no similar judgment on record but rather contrary recent rulings in New York (regarding “Tommy” the chimpanzee) and San Diego (on behalf of orca whales). [Reuters, 12-21-2014]

A News of the Weird Classic (March 2011)

World's Greatest Lawyer: Christopher Soon won an acquittal in February [2011] for his client Alan Patton--even though Patton had been charged with violating a law that had been written primarily to stop Alan Patton. That law makes it illegal to collect urine from public restrooms. Patton, of Dublin, Ohio, was convicted in 1993 and 2008 (and charged again in October 2010) of waiting in restrooms and, when young boys finished using the urinal (after Patton had obstructed the flushing mechanism), rushing to gather the contents, which he admitted sexually excited him. After Patton's 2008 conviction, the Ohio legislature made that specific act a felony, and Patton's arrest in October was supposed to lead to a triumphant conviction. (The judge did find Patton guilty of "criminal mischief," a misdemeanor.) [Columbus Dispatch, 2-17-2011]

Thanks This Week to Russell Bell and Steve Ringley, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

Posted By: Chuck - Sun Jan 11, 2015 - Comments (3)

Seesaw Ballet

via Redundant Variety Hour

Posted By: Alex - Sun Jan 11, 2015 - Comments (5)



I do believe I've featured Volto before, but I could not resist another encounter with him. Hope you all agree he deserves more fame!

The Complete Volto Archives here.

Posted By: Paul - Sun Jan 11, 2015 - Comments (4)
Category: Food, Advertising, Comics, 1940s

January 10, 2015

Cow Urine Floor Cleaner

The Holy Cow Foundation in India has succeeded in turning cow urine into a liquid cleanser that will soon be cleaning office floors throughout India. It's calling this new product Gaunyle. It says that the cow-urine product is safer than synthetic cleaners, it's "full of natural goodness," and its use will provide income for people who raise cows. So overall, its use is a "win-win" for everyone. [economic times]

Posted By: Alex - Sat Jan 10, 2015 - Comments (3)
Category: Cows, Body Fluids

Sexy Banana Spokeslady

This is really four commercials back to back. I like that sentient bananas are willing to strip their skins off and sacrifice themselves for humans.

Number three has one of the typical vintage representations of a cannibal for you to marvel at.

Posted By: Paul - Sat Jan 10, 2015 - Comments (9)
Category: Food, Stereotypes and Cliches, Advertising, 1940s, Bananas

A Whale Of A Beer

We have all heard of seasonal beers and ales.Many (most) of us have tried a few as well. In Iceland one of their breweries is producing an interesting seasonal brew. Each batch is flavored by one lightly salted, smoked whale testicle. Would anyone here try it if they could?

Posted By: patty - Sat Jan 10, 2015 - Comments (4)
Category: Products, Genitals, Alcohol

January 9, 2015

Hotel Crane

This crane had become an eye sore that seemed unlikely to be renovated. Now it is a successful hotel of luxury suites.

Posted By: patty - Fri Jan 09, 2015 - Comments (3)
Category: Architecture, Buildings and Other Structures

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Who We Are
Alex Boese
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction books such as Elephants on Acid.

Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.

Chuck Shepherd
Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre.

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