Imagine your name
lasered onto a piece of meat. Imagine always smelling like beef jerky.
Doesn't look like these are on sale yet, but as soon as they are, I'm sure their creators will make a fortune.
(Thanks to Prof. Music for the link)
![](https://www.weirduniverse.net/images/2012/bullshot.jpg)
[From
Look magazine for 3-4-58.]
Worst. Cocktail Recipe. Ever!
Researchers at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine (New York's Yeshiva University) reported success with a topical application of nanoparticles of nitric oxide, as a Viagra substitute, giving 5 out of 7 rats hard-ons.
Daily Telegraph (London)
German doctors removed a 40-lb. cyst from a Saudi woman (which is not a world record, by any means, i.e., try 303 lbs., but she only weighed 120 lbs. going in).
Associated Press via Fox News /// Bild (Berlin)
[photo story; Not Safe for Work or Stomachs]
What if you put up photos of the Wall Street masters of the universe and gave out chances (like carnival sideshows) to shoot 'em down and win big kewpie dolls (sorta like these two Czech artists did)?
Agence France-Presse via Yahoo
At least one Republican official sees Democrats as blameless for the root causes of American dysfunction . . because the fault lies with Satan himself.
Salt Lake Tribune
Today's Fish/Barrel Shoot: Britain's Justice Secretary, despairing that "prison" doesn't seem to cure bad people, says let's try untough love, like sending the perps to mentors to teach 'em how to fish, plant gardens, apply for gov't benefits, etc.
Daily Mail
I don't have a mugshot for ya today, but here's a horse with a moustache---will that do?
Daily Telegraph (London)
Today's Newsrangers: Mark Neunder, David Oldridge
"Monkey steals the peach" is apparently what ninjas call this move, but I think Chuck has covered cases in which amateurs have performed similar feats purely by accident.
The illustration is from the book
Ninja Mind Control by Ashida Kim. (According to
Boing Boing which posted about this a couple of years ago.)
![](https://www.weirduniverse.net/images/media/chair2.jpg)
I thought that this
Carolina Cottage 271-AB Whitman Dining Chair in Antique Black, available from Amazon, was going to set a new record for overpriced merchandise, seeing that Amazon wants $139,134.99 for it.
But it looks like you can get the same chair directly from
Dining Rooms Direct for $139.
Still, if you feel like paying full price for it at Amazon, Weird Universe will get a kickback since we referred you. Or better yet, send us $100,000, and we'll arrange to have the chair shipped to you straight from Dining Rooms Direct.
The Boston Globe reports the death of one Jonathan Bayliss, an eccentric self-published writer of enormous tomes.
Here's a sample from one of his novels. (Click on text to enlarge.)
There's plenty more here, if you want it!
Notes on the Recession: (1) Rebecca Taylor, needing big bucks for a new apartment, at first offered to sell her 5-month-old son for $10k, but was forced to mark him down to $5k. (2) New York City's Bronx Zoo, facing dwindling revenues, laid off "hundreds" of animals in four exhibits, including deer, bats, porcupines, foxes, lemurs, caimans, and antelopes.
Associated Press via Akron Beacon Journal /// New York Post
Shooting Fish in a Barrel (aka "reporting British concerns about 'safety'"): (1) Local gov't councils have been performing "topple tests" on gravestones to make sure none would fall over on anyone (cost: nearly £1m). (2) Clowns in Liverpool have to give up their oversized shoes because they might trip and crash into somebody.
Daily Telegraph (gravestones)
/// Daily Telegraph (clown shoes)
Spare the propane torch, spoil the child: A really bad parent confronts a toilet-untrained 6-yr-old.
Saginaw News
[Jury Duty] Four performers from the Shreveport (La.) Opera chased Timothy Grim, 39, for six blocks after he allegedly stole a diva's dress from the rehearsal room. But it couldn't be true that, after they caught him, he offered to sell the dress back to them (and had lowered his asking price to $1), could it?
KTBS-TV (Shreveport)
[Jury Duty Bonus] Generally speaking, "Melissa" and "Lori" are pretty names, but not always.
Clarion-Ledger (Jackson, Miss.)
Editor's Notes:
(1) I mentioned a few days ago that Oklahoma City bombing conspirator Terry Nichols had complained formally about the lack of fiber in his diet at Colorado's Supermax prison, and it turns out that his Supermax colleague, Atlanta anti-abortion bomber Eric Rudolph, agrees with him that their "sacred" colons deserve some bran, at least. The Smoking Gun is there.
TheSmokingGun.com
(2) OK, that editor I referred to yesterday at Yahoo UK-Ireland (his photo is at the link) is now on my snot list. Newsranger Kevin Dean wrote that he's sure he saw that very story a while back in
The (Incomplete) Book of Failures. Even if the story is true, the "Chuck" part of Weird Universe only does "news." Blaaah. I'll check it out.
Today's Newsrangers: Harry Farkas, Rich Pevey