The latest entry in our boredom contest. This guy's voice is particularly deadly--especially when he repeats the same passage!
However, I now want to say "sprung idler" and "snubber roller" over and over, so the film must have worked!
The fact that this skill is extinct does add a certain piquancy to the boredom, though.
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M378, July 6, 2014
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
California Polytechnic State University at San Luis Obispo has a huge, 350-student “viticulture and enology” program, preparing its majors for an industry critical to the state’s economy (and with a venerable international cachet)--but puritanical state law continues to hobble it. Many in Cal Poly’s four-year wine-making program must arrange for a fifth year--after they turn 21--because, otherwise, faculty and administrators could be felons for “furnishing alcohol to a minor” when they assign students to taste their own class creations. The current California legislative session is considering allowing underage wine-making students to sip and spit. [San Luis Obispo Tribune, 6-20-2014
Science on the Cutting Edge
On dairy farms across the country, cows bizarrely queue up, without prodding, to milk themselves by submitting to $250,000 robots that are recently the salvation of the industry. According to an April New York Times report, this advance appears to be “win-win” (except for migrant labor’s watching choice jobs disappear)--more efficient for the farmer and more pleasant for the cow, which, constantly pregnant, usually prefers frequent milking. Amazingly, cows have learned the drill, moseying up to the precise spot to engage the robot’s arms for washing and nipple-cupping. The robots also yield copious data tracked from transponders worn around the cow’s neck. [New York Times, 4-22-2014
Argentine agricultural scientists in 2008 created the “methane backpack” to collect the emissions of grazing cows (with a tube from the cow’s rumen to the inflatable bag) in order to see how much of the world’s greenhouse-gas problem was created by livestock. Having learned that (It’s 25-30 percent), the country’s National Institute of Agricultural Technology announced recently that it will start storing the collected methane to convert to energy. In a “proof of concept” hypothesis, it estimates, for example, that about 300 liters of methane could power a refrigerator for 24 hours. [Fast Company, 4-15-2014
Scientists Just Wanna Have Fun
Bioengineers who work with Dictyostelium slime molds held the “Dicty World Race” in Boston in May for a $5,000 prize and intellectual adulation in August at the Annual International Dictyostelium Conference in Potsdam, Germany. The molds oozed down the 800-micrometer (0.0315 inches) track, lured to the finish line by ordinary bacteria that the molds normally enjoy. A team from the Netherlands beat out 19 others for the coveted prize. (Among the other “games” scientists play, mentioned in the same Nature.com story, is the “Prisoners’ Smellemma,” in which players mix obscure samples in a test tube and smell the result to guess what their opponent used.) [Nature, 5-7-2014
Artist Diemut Strebe offered his 3-D-printed re-creation of the famous ear of Vincent van Gogh for display in June and July in a museum in Karlsruhe, Germany--having built it partially with genes from a great-great-grandson/nephew of van Gogh--and in the same shape, based on computer imaging technology. (Van Gogh reputedly cut off the ear, himself, in 1888 during a psychotic episode.) Visitors can also speak into the ear and listen to sounds it receives. [Wall Street Journal, 6-4-2014
Researchers from the Polish Academy of Sciences, writing recently in the journal Zoo Biology, reported witnessing 28 acts of fellatio by two orphaned male bears at a sanctuary in Kurerevo, Croatia--the first-ever report of bear fellatio and the payoff from 116 hours of scientific observation over a six-year period. In each case, the researchers wrote, the older male was the receiver, and the researchers speculated that the episodes were less sexual in nature than a reflection of the bears’ “early deprivation of maternal suckling.” [LiveScience.com, 6-17-2014
(1) A black-and-white housecat, Lenny, was turned back to a shelter near Rochester, N.Y., in April, only two days after adoption because the new owner could not tolerate Lenny’s flatulence. (A braver second adopter, even though “warned,” has taken Lenny in successfully.) (2) When three parrots were stolen from a home in Saxilby, England, in June, the owner provided police their descriptions, even though all three are African greys, and quite talkative, and look very much alike. One of the three, however, has asthma and is easily recognized by his chronic cough. (3) Miles Jelf of Bristol, England, was seeking financial help in April to cover surgery for his hard-luck tortoise, Cedric, whose prolapsed penis (likely from a mating mishap) constantly drags on the ground, partially erect. [Democrat & Chronicle (Rochester), 4-9-2014
] [BBC News, 6-8-2014
] [Daily Mail (London), 4-18-2014
The Fine Points of the Law
Paul Stenstrom, 62, lived comfortably in his Palm Harbor, Fla., home from 2002-2014 without paying a penny of his $1,836 monthly mortgage bill, exploiting federal bankruptcy law that forces foreclosing creditors to back off once a debtor files for protection. Stenstrom and his wife filed 18 separate petitions in that 12-year period, according to an April Tampa Bay Times report, until a judge recently cut them off. The Stenstroms were spotted recently preparing to relocate--but Stenstrom said he was considering buying the Palm Harbor house back (since the price has dropped because of the foreclosure). [Tampa Bay Times, 4-12-2014
Leading Economic Indicators
Several “professional organizers” in New York City told a New York Post reporter in May that this summer is far busier than in years past for clients who need help packing their kids’ trunks for summer camp. One consultant, who charges $250 an hour, said it is as if moms fear that the slightest change from home life will stress out their little darlings. Some mothers’ attention to details includes packing the same luxury bedding the campers sleep on at home, along with their special soap and candles and even separate plastic boxes to provide the cuties more storage space. [New York Post, 5-23-2014
First-World Sales Launches: (1) Daneson (an Ontario “purveyor of fine toothpicks”) recently introduced $35.99 “Artisanal Toothpicks” (that’s per dozen, in “Single Malt” and other exotic flavors) for the discriminating dental raker. The lemon-flavored picks are a bargain at only $19.99 yet made from the same “finest quality Northern White Birch,” “prepared according to exacting recipes.” (2) The Skin By Molly salon in Brooklyn (and by now, perhaps, competitors) offers “facials” for the derriere (occasioned by a recent social-media fascination with “bum selfies.”) Molly’s is the “Shiney Hiney Facial” ($65 for a 30-minute treatment), important because, she says, “Acne can flare up anywhere.” [Gothamist, 5-22-2014
] [Huffington Post UK, 5-23-2014
Least Competent Criminals
(1) A “stocky” man in his 30s wearing a Cincinnati Reds baseball cap was sought in New York City in June after holding up five banks in the space of about 3-1/2 hours but earning a total of only $449 (still, an average of $128 an hour). (Actually, $399 came from one Chase branch and $50 from another; three banks had shooed him away empty-handed.) (2) Notorious San Diego, Calif., tagger Francisco Canseco, 18, was present in a downtown courtroom in June for a hearing on 31 misdemeanor paint-vandalism charges and apparently could not contain his boredom. While waiting (as officials discovered only the next day), Canseco managed to tag numerous chairs in the courtroom, along with benches in the hallway. (Vandalism of a courthouse is a felony.) [New York Daily News, 6-17-2014
] [San Diego Union-Tribune, 6-17-2014
It turns out (contrary to a report in News of the Weird on April 20th) that Dayton, Ohio, transit driver Rickey Wagoner was not saved by the religious book in his pocket that absorbed a bullet from an attack by “three black teenagers.” After a thorough investigation, the Dayton police chief told reporters in June that Wagoner’s allegations were “unfounded” and “fabricated.” The chief reported that Wagoner was under financial stress at the time but declined to speculate further, though he did reassure the community that no such attackers were being sought. [Dayton Daily News, 6-20-2014
New World Order
Plant City (Fla.) High School near Tampa announced that its 2014 valedictorian, Ms. Dhara Patel, had graduated with a grade-point average of 10.03. She not only vanquished the students who had fought for the formerly-coveted 4.0, but she aced her heavy load of the ultra-competitive “advanced placement” courses for extra credit. [WTVT (Tampa), 5-13-2014
Thanks This Week to Justin Warner and Candy Clouston, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
Buck Nolan claimed to be the tallest clown in the world. And since he was 7 feet 6 inches tall, that claim was probably accurate.
He reportedly turned down the role of Darth Vader, after which he was probably a sad, bitter clown. Plus, he was also once investigated for child molestation, so he was also a creepy clown. (Though I don't know if he was actually found guilty of the charges.)
More info and pictures of him at thetallestman.com
As reported by numerous 19th century sources (such as here
), a tombstone bearing the following epitaph supposedly once stood in a "quiet Maine graveyard":
"sacred to the memory of James H. Random, who died Aug. the 6th, 1800. His widow, who mourns as one who can be comforted, aged only 24, and possessing every qualification of a good wife, lives in this village."
Some versions of the epitaph claim that a specific street address was included. But I suspect this all may be a 19th-century urban legend, because I can't find any source that specifies exactly which town, or which cemetery, this tombstone is to be found in.