For nominatively challenged parents, a new company offers help. Future Perfect charges $350 for a personalized list of 10 possible first and middle names for a newborn. For $225, you'll get a list of first names only, while for $100 they'll provide “a namestorming session like no other.” And for a mere $75, they’ll also help you name your pet.
Add this to my list of things I'd be willing to do for less money.
Back in the late 1940s and early 50s, Swift's urged mothers to start feeding their babies canned, processed meat at 6 weeks because "Results of actual test feedings with six-weeks-old infants show meat gives baby a better start in life!”
I'm no expert, but six weeks seems awful early to start feeding your kid meat, even if it has been pureed into meat mush. Aren't most kids still on breast milk or formula at six weeks?
Retired professor Edwin Paget (1902-1989) decided that one of the problems with the world was that babies weren't exercising enough. Therefore, their brains started to go into decline. In an effort to correct this problem, he tried to organize what he claimed were the first ever "baby olympics" in the summer of 1980.
I'm not sure they were ever held, but events would have included "crawling, weightlifing, tug-of-war, 'head-over-heels rolling' and three aquatic events, including the 'leaping fish from the water' swim."
Paget advocated a number of other unusual ideas, such as periodic brain scans for U.S. presidents, to check that their brains had sufficient oxygen levels.
He believed that the rules of basketball should be revised so that the game would be played continuously, with all free throws shot at the end of the game.
And he also designed a line of women's clothing with built-in lighting, saying, "Unlike the bikini, which reveals almost everything, much of which is unattractive, lighting permits a homely girl to reveal only her best, possibly in color."
Over in Abu Dhabi, an eight-month-old baby was appointed to a position in a government office as a "happiness executive." Apparently it was believed the presence of the kid might boost morale. Or maybe it was just someone's scheme to save on daycare. Following complaints, officials are now investigating.
Cows are a definite WU theme. But in all these years, I do not believe we have ever commented on the rare instance of triplet calves. The odds of a successful gestation and delivery are "one in eight million."
Back in 1964, Dr. Milton Berger called attention to the predictive power of a baby's burps. A baby with "strong and clear" burps will grow up to be a leader. However, the majority of people are "dithering" burpers. They'll become your run-of-the-mill member of the faceless masses.
Odd theory, but probably as good a predictor of future success as anything.
The first ever concert for fetuses was held a few weeks ago. Soraya Arnelas sang Christmas songs to a group of expectant mothers who were wearing the Babypod speaker, which is a speaker worn inside their hoo-ha, tampon-like.
There have been devices in the past which were designed to play sounds for fetuses, such as the Fetal Educator Strap, but Babypod claims to be the first to play the sounds inside the body itself, rather than through the abdomen, and they think this is a big breakthrough.
Riddle me this: How does a child who was never born become a father? The answer literally lies in a human chimera, the surviving twin who absorbed his brother in the womb. A paternity test turned out negative, the man's sperm tested as a 10% match, and in further testing the man was shown to be the baby's genetic uncle. The twin that was absorbed in the womb is the genetic father to the infant. This is extremely rare but not entirely unheard of. Its just that now DNA testing is more advanced and is done more often so these fascinating rarities will turn up more frequently.
Spiritual healer Dorina Rosin and her partner Maika Suneagle plan to have a "dolphin-assisted" water birth in the ocean, even though experts are warning that this poses many risks. For instance, there's the chance that a great white shark may show up. Also, dolphins in the wild aren't exactly the most docile creatures. They've been known to "toss, beat, and kill other mammals for no apparent reason despite enjoyment."
Nevertheless, Rosin and Suneagle feel these risks are worth it. After all, as long as they don't wind up dead, they believe their ocean-born baby will be able to speak dolphin. More info: CBS Atlanta
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Who We Are
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction books such as Elephants on Acid.
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.
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