Category:
Crackpots

Sidney Cornell’s Geyser Relays

Over the years there have been a lot of ideas proposed to solve Southern California's water shortage. One of the more unusual, from back in the early 1950s, was Sidney Cornell's geyser relays.

His idea was that, instead of moving water from Northern to Southern California by means of pipelines or canals, one could use hydrocannons to shoot it through the air.

He envisioned a series of powerful hydrocannons each positioned a mile apart. A geyser of water would be blasted from a cannon, a mile through the air, and collected in a funnel at the next pumping station. It would then be blasted to the next station in the chain, continuing like this for four-hundred miles.

Durham Herald-Sun - Jun 17, 1951



Mechanix Illustrated - Oct 1951 (via California WaterBlog)



San Pedro News-Pilot - Aug 8, 1951



The idea seems so harebrained that it's hard to understand how Cornell thought it could be even remotely possible. I'm guessing he was persuaded by the phenomenon of laminar flow, by means of which it's possible to get a jet of water to remain tightly focused, with minimal turbulence or scattering. See the video below for an example.

But even so, I'm sure that winds would push the water off-course, despite Cornell's claim that this wouldn't happen. And the cost would be significant.

Posted By: Alex - Tue Jan 24, 2023 - Comments (8)
Category: Engineering and Construction, Crackpots, 1950s

Brainbeauism

While serving in World War II, Lt. George E. Lemon suffered a head injury from a jeep accident. As he described it, this gave his brain a "tilt" which resulted in a "me-to-me talkathon" and ended with him realizing "the only way to end war, inflation, unemployment, trade deficits and death."

Lemon stewed on his realization for almost four decades until he retired in the 1980s. Then he renamed himself J.C. Brainbeau and began placing classified ads in various magazines offering to share his comprehensive "4 WAY PEACE PLAN" with anyone who sent him a self-addressed stamped envelope. Those who responded to him, however, just received more ads.

Donna Kossy offers some analysis in her book Kooks: A Guide to the Outer Limits of Human Belief:

Philosophical ads existed before Brainbeau. They can still be found in the back pages of magazines like Gnosis, Fate or Biblical Archeology Review. Typically, such ads proclaim "Esoteric Secrets of the Egyptians can be Yours," "You Possess Hidden Powers," and once in a while something like, "Jesus Never Existed." While ads such as these might lead you something philosophical, their main purpose is to peddle books and amulets, not to communicate ideas.

For Brainbeau, the ads themselves were esoteric truths. Those who sent Self Addressed Stamped Envelopes (SASE) to Brainbeau expecting to receive literature, products or information received even more ads! They revealed Brainbeau's plans, bit by bit, ad by ad. Several sheets of closely spaced Brainbeau ads could be fit together like a jigsaw puzzle, but the resulting picture would be just another sheet of ads.

I figured someone on the Internet would have archived Brainbeau's bizarro ads. But I found nothing. So below are some of his ads that Kossy reproduced in her book.

You can read more about Brainbeau at Kossy's Kook Museum, which is now archived at the Wayback Machine.





Posted By: Alex - Wed Feb 02, 2022 - Comments (3)
Category: Eccentrics, Crackpots, Advertising

Static



A quirky, out-of-place worker (Keith Gordon) at a crucifix factory invents a device he claims can show pictures of Heaven. Discouraged and confused by the inability of those around him to see anything but a screenful of static, he charismatically hijacks a bus of friendly elderly people in order to get media attention for his invention.


The director's page.

Posted By: Paul - Sat Dec 05, 2020 - Comments (2)
Category: Death, Eccentrics, Crackpots, Inventions, Television, 1980s

William Greenwood, the Modern Noah

William Greenwood was a local character in Olympia, Washington. In the 1920s, he decided that a great flood was coming soon, so he built himself an ark. The press dubbed him the modern Noah.

The exact date that he thought the flood would arrive changed frequently. First it was 1928, then 1932, then 1938, etc.







Eventually the city decided that his ark was a fire hazard, so in June 1942 they had the fire department burn it down. But Greenwood built another, smaller one. He lived on until 1958, dying at the age of 91. More info: Olympia History

San Bernardino County Sun - June 20, 1942



Mason City Globe-Gazette - Feb 13, 1948

Posted By: Alex - Sat Oct 26, 2019 - Comments (4)
Category: Armageddon and Apocalypses, Eccentrics, Crackpots, 1920s

Ralph Slater, Hypnotist Against Hitler

I suspect that Slater would pitch anything just to get publicity.

Here he claims he can deprogram Nazis.



He did not fare so well in 1948.

Here's the man himself.

Posted By: Paul - Sun Dec 23, 2018 - Comments (1)
Category: Delusions, Fantasies and Other Tricks of the Imagination, Hypnotism, Mesmerism and Mind Control, Crackpots, 1940s

Virgin Hospitals

1945: Mrs. Lenora Hawkes Jones came up with the idea of having a network of "virgin hospitals" throughout America which would house lovely and brainy women willing to bear children by suitable men in order to "improve the race." Suitable men would be those who didn't drink or smoke, and who weren't 'evil-minded.'

Didn't the nazis have some kind of scheme like this going?

Brooklyn Daily Eagle - Mar 7, 1926



Piqua Daily Call - Nov 2, 1945



A network of "virgin hospitals" in every state of the union where "our loveliest and brainiest" unmarried women would produce a new generation of super-babies by test tube is the solution offered by Mrs. Lenora Hawkes Jones, 76-year-old Washington inventor, to counteract the war-born husband shortage. Mrs. Jones, a graduate of the Bangor (Me.) theological seminary draws the line at men who smoke or drink in choosing the fathers, and advocates extreme caution to weed out the "evil-minded" applicants. Her proposed hospitals would completely eliminate the "personal factor," employ only women doctors, and the super-babies commended to the state for care."
-acme photo caption

Posted By: Alex - Fri Nov 17, 2017 - Comments (7)
Category: Eccentrics, Crackpots, 1940s

Hothouse Children




Well, that's one theory, I guess...

Original article here.

Posted By: Paul - Wed Nov 01, 2017 - Comments (1)
Category: Children, Crackpots, Nineteenth Century

Woman Hater Elmer Simrell

1959: Elmer "Jet" Simrell, an early crusader for men's rights, vowed to "fast until death" to publicize his views on the "menace of modern womanhood." He declared he wouldn't eat until newspapers published his manifesto on the "ruination emancipated women are bringing the world."

Simrell was in jail on account of having written hoax death threats to 10 judges, angry at the California judicial system because it had awarded his wife custody of their two daughters during their 1956 divorce.

In an earlier stunt (done, he said, to publicize "America's headlong rush to destruction via the divorce courts"), he had written to newspapers declaring that he had killed "a mother and three kids." Police immediately investigated and discovered he had killed a pregnant mother goat and two baby goats.

Simrell started his "fast until death" on Thanksgiving Day (Nov 26), 1959. It lasted until Dec 1, when he broke down and had some beef, soup, salad, coffee, and bread. So, all of five days. No papers ever published his manifesto.

Simrell (center) being taken into custody following his goat-killing stunt. via USC Digital Library.



Rochester Democrat and Chronicle
Nov 27, 1959

The Evening Independent - Dec 3, 1959



Elmer Simrell

Posted By: Alex - Fri Nov 18, 2016 - Comments (3)
Category: Crackpots, 1950s





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Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction, science-themed books such as Elephants on Acid and Psychedelic Apes.

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