The Great Pantyhose Crafts Book (1982) explains how to make all kinds of things out of used pantyhose. For the Thanksgiving table, it offers instructions for a pantyhose turkey ornament.
I imagine a pantyhose turkey would add a touch of class to any Thanksgiving gathering.
Thanksgiving used to be celebrated on the final Thursday in November until 1939, when President Roosevelt decided to move it back a week in order to help retailers by lengthening the pre-Christmas shopping season. Not everyone was happy with this decision. As wikipedia notes:
Republicans decried the change, calling it an affront to the memory of Lincoln. People began referring to November 30 as the "Republican Thanksgiving" and November 23 as the "Democratic Thanksgiving" or "Franksgiving". Regardless of the politics, many localities had made a tradition of celebrating on the last Thursday, and many football teams had a tradition of playing their final games of the season on Thanksgiving; with their schedules set well in advance, they could not change. Since a presidential declaration of Thanksgiving Day was not legally binding, Roosevelt's change was widely disregarded. Twenty-three states went along with Roosevelt's recommendation, 22 did not, and some, like Texas, could not decide and took both days as government holidays.
So Governor Lee O'Daniel declared that Texas would celebrate 2 official days of Thanksgiving, but some parts of the state weren't satisfied with that. The city of Monahans decided they were going to have 3 Thanksgivings: on the 16th, 23rd, and 30th. Then Harlingen, Texas upped the ante by declaring they were going to have a full 8 days of Thanksgiving. They designated every day from the 23rd to the 30th as an official day of Thanksgiving.
That sounds like a swell idea to me. A full week of gluttony!
Back in 1984, the social studies class at Highland Middle School in Louisville had a six-week study of the American pioneers' way of life, in honor of Thanksgiving. This included having the eighth graders decapitate a live turkey named Willy Wally. Some of the students held down Willy Wally while a student named Robin Ham swung an ax down on its neck.
Said Ham, "It was bleeding everywhere. It was flapping around a little. It was kind of grossing me out." Then added, "It was a neat experience. I feel it was pretty enriching, but I don't think I want to do it again. I've had enough of enrichment."
November 1956: Hypnotist Arthur Ellen urged President Eisenhower to put his Thanksgiving turkey in a trance before executing it, promising him that a hypnotized turkey "tastes better due to the absence of adrenalin in the bloodstream and plucks easier because the muscles holding the feathers are relaxed."
Port Angeles Evening News - Nov 19, 1956
It's not recorded whether Eisenhower took the advice of the hypnotist. However, Wikipedia notes that, "The Eisenhower Presidential Library says documents in their collection reveal that President Dwight Eisenhower ate the birds presented to him during his two terms."
The tradition of Presidential turkey pardons only officially began with Reagan, although both Kennedy and Nixon spared some birds.
Below: Eisenhower in 1954 feeds a cranberry to a soon-to-be-eaten Thanksgiving turkey.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope you all enjoy your turkey dinner — and that your frozen turkey doesn't come back to life.
Sioux Center News - Nov 28, 1940
Frozen Turkey Comes Back To Life
Following the snow storm Neal Spaan, Orange City hatchery man loaded up his frozen turkeys and peddled them. One customer, wanting to keep the turkey frozen for a few days put it into a snow bank and covered it with snow. When he came to dig it up the turkey lifted its head, stood up, shook off the snow and calmly walked away.
According to my research, the first case of assault with a frozen turkey occurred in the 1940s. But by the end of the 20th Century, the use of frozen turkeys as deadly weapons had become fairly common. More details over at about.com.
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.