This ad was a trap! If you were able to replicate this insane bird, you received a visit from the men in white coats with butterfly nets, not art teachers.
1) I have never seen another Schlitz ad with a bear.
2) Bears were not a Schlitz mascot.
3) The text of the ad makes no mention of the bear.
WHAT IS THIS BEAR DOING HERE?
Was there a famous trained bear circa 1942 that Schlitz wanted to associate themselves with? Do bears in the wild have a particular fondness for Schlitz? What university does this bear teach at?
"That's one small step for man, one giant leap... to infinity and beyond!"
Those, presumably, are what 1-in-10 UK schoolchildren believe were the historic words spoken by the first man on the moon, who according to them was Buzz Lightyear.
In a survey of 1000 primary and secondary school pupils by Dr Pam Waddell of Birmingham in England, Buzz was the top incorrect answer given to the question of who was the first man on the moon, though other incorrect responses included Richard Branson, Lance Armstrong and Luke Skywalker. Another question, who invented the telephone, drew answers of Charles Darwin, Noel Edmunds and the Queen, while Isaac Newton was variously credited with discovering fire, DNA and America. The results, released just ahead of a British "National Science and Engineering Week" to promote science to schoolchildren, shows that educators there still have a long way to go (Telegraph).
It’s an old excuse, whenever a man is caught eyeing-up another woman by his partner we’ll often claim that it’s not our fault, it’s just the way we’re wired. Well not according to neuroscientists at Gwinnett College in Georgia. Researchers there monitored the brain activity of 14 men while showing them pictures of women’s behinds taken before and after surgery designed to give them Beyonce like curves. The scans showed ‘reward areas’ of the men’s brains more commonly associated with drugs or alcohol lit up more in response to the redesigned rumps. In other words, we do it because we like it (Orange).
But if what most attracts men is a great set of lady bumps, what would top women’s list of desirable traits in their perfect man? That’s what online matchmakers UKDating wanted to know, so they analysed the responses of 83,000 lovelorn women to find the top ten most wanted male characteristics. And number one was… a salary over £50k ($75k). Bizarrely, being good looking came in at number 9, just above being 5’11” tall and five places below owning an Audi TT. But do girls really only like cars and money, or does this finding perhaps explain why these particular girls had to resort to a dating service in the first place (News://Lite)?
The economics of relationships also features in the new book from Karyn Langhorne Folan. In Don’t Bring Home A White Boy, Folan describes today’s black women as being stuck in “market failure”, with college educated black women outnumbering their male counterparts by 3 to 1. This severely restricts the women’s options unless they look outside their own race. “In this case, we are the commodity and the new market is men of other races,” states Foley, who is herself a Harvard-educated lawyer, “it’s Econ 101 for the single, educated black woman” (STL Today).
Mind you, women aren’t always a commodity, sometimes they’re the consumer. At least that’s what Cuban cigar maker Habanos is hoping. In an effort to boost sales in a market hit hard by anti-smoking legislation the world-over, Habanos have produced what they’re billing as the first Cuban cigar specifically for female smokers. Their new Julieta brand is smaller and milder in hopes of being more appealing to women, but still manages to keep that phallic edge to its image (Sky News).
When I was in the first, second and third grade, Valentine's Day was a big deal. We brought old shoe boxes to school and decorated them with red construction paper and pink and white hearts. Then we went around the room and stuffed cheaply made, store bought Valentines featuring silly cartoon characters into all the boxes. We had to bring enough for every child in the class so that no one would feel left out. Then we'd have a party, with cupcakes and punch, and got to read all our Valentines. That was over twenty years ago and I remember those days with fondness. But apparently those days are over for future generations, at least in Somerset, England. Peter Turner, the headmaster at Ashcombe Primary School (students aged four to eleven), has banned Valentine's exchanges on campus and any cards found in school will be taken away. Why? As Mr. Turner explains, "We believe that such ideas should wait until children are mature enough emotionally and socially to understand the commitment involved in having or being a boyfriend or girlfriend." Of course opinions from the parents differ, from approval, to outrage. You can read more about the ban here.
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.