Category:
Martial Arts

Looking Forward to Being Attacked



In 1977, Lieutenant Jim Bullard of the Memphis police department published a self-defense manual for women titled Looking forward to being attacked. The general theme was that if a bad guy attacked you, it gave you the chance to beat him up, which could be fun. His idea was to use some humor to make the self-defense lessons more interesting.

Some of the self-defense tips from his book:

  • If you're grabbed, don't scream. Even if he didn't intend to hurt you, it'll be an automatic reflex to shut you up.
  • If he grabs for your purse or any personal belongings, let them go. Defend personally. Don't defend property.
  • Don't try to kick, scratch or punch him. Instead, through the principle of attack the "weakest point" you can escape 90 percent of the time.
  • If you have a chance, jab any sharp object including your thumb into his trachea — his adam's apple. That is a man's most vulnerable area.
  • One hundred and fifty pounds of pressure will kill a person. Seven pounds of pressure is all anyone can comfortably stand.
  • The ears are the second most vulnerable area. Slap your hands against them.
  • The eyes are the third choice and always carry your car keys when going to your car in a dark parking lot. If you can, scrape them across the assailant's eyes. Use a ball point pen, if you have it out of your purse.
  • A fourth choice, especially when held around the waist from behind, is to reach back and strike at a man's testicles.
  • If you find a burglar is outside your home, warn him first, and then you can take a cannon and blow him into the next county. 99.6 percent of the time you scream when someone's outside, warn him, he'll run. If he doesn't, you can legally assume he's coming in to kill you. A shotgun is the most efficient weapon. Kill him. You're doing society a favor when you do do it. I've seen those that didn't do it, and it's a very sad case.




More images at Awful Library Books.

Posted By: Alex - Sat Apr 29, 2017 - Comments (1)
Category: Martial Arts, Books, 1970s

Judo Girls

Posted By: Paul - Sat May 14, 2016 - Comments (5)
Category: Martial Arts, 1950s, Women

Marlowe



Archie Bunker, Rockford and Kato try to update 1940s noir.

Full movie behind a paywall, alas.


Posted By: Paul - Sat Mar 19, 2016 - Comments (4)
Category: Movies, Homages, Pastiches, Tributes and Borrowings, Martial Arts, 1940s, 1960s

The Last Dragon

I only wish I could find the complete movie of THE LAST DRAGON for you. But barring that, you might be satisfied with the theme song and a clip.



Posted By: Paul - Sun Feb 21, 2016 - Comments (5)
Category: Ineptness, Crudity, Talentlessness, Kitsch, and Bad Art, Movies, Music, Martial Arts, 1980s

Kiddy Boxing

Posted By: Paul - Wed Jan 06, 2016 - Comments (4)
Category: Martial Arts, Children

Ugandan Kung Fu



More information here.

Posted By: Paul - Sat Jan 31, 2015 - Comments (3)
Category: Movies, Martial Arts, Children, Africa

The Incredible Dr. Steel



I suspect that Dr. Steel, Big Jim and Big Jeff were just showing off for each other prior to a gay orgy of epic proportions.

And by the way: what parent would buy this toy based on the incredibly primitive drawing in the newspaper ad below? And why are the Doc's pants photorealistic, and the rest of him just like a stick figure?

image

Posted By: Paul - Sat May 17, 2014 - Comments (2)
Category: Mad Scientists, Evil Geniuses, Insane Villains, Toys, Martial Arts, 1970s

Toddlers Boxing Match



Let's restart these competitions today! Far better than the baby crawling races.

Posted By: Paul - Tue Feb 11, 2014 - Comments (7)
Category: Martial Arts, Children, 1940s

Norwegian Ninja



Don't try to make sense of this, just watch.

Posted By: Paul - Sun Aug 28, 2011 - Comments (2)
Category: Movies, Regionalism, Stereotypes and Cliches, Martial Arts, Europe

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Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction books such as Elephants on Acid.

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