As a pediatrician [Dr. Charles Johnson of the Iowa Medical School faculty] gives a lecture on child development. It’s scheduled for 1 p.m. The students are sleepy, not only because the subject doesn’t send them but because they’ve just finished lunch.

To liven them up Johnson does this:

“I start the lecture by playing a stereo recording from Sesame Street, which awakens about a third of the audience. I briefly outline the two-hour lecture and then, on cue, in comes the first patient... a newborn in a wheeled isolette pushed by a nurse.

“For the pediatrician,” I announce, “this is where it all begins.”

The baby then starts to scream. As it gets louder and louder Johnson becomes more and more annoyed.

At first he rocks the isolette gently, then with more vigor. Finally, in a fit of anger he flings open the glass top, seizes the infant, and throws it out into the audience.

Pandemonium!

“When the hysteria dies down I state: ‘Infants are helpless parasites. They can be and are battered.’

“Most of my other pearls are soon forgotten, but rarely does the student forget the ‘helpless parasite’ flying into the audience. All that’s needed is a straight-faced nurse, a good tape recording of an infant yelling — and a life-size doll.

PRANKSTERS PEPPER CEILING — Teenagers have forgotten the goldfish-swallowing fad which swept the U.S. a few years back, but they've started another one which is giving restaurant owners a headache. The new fad requires some drinking straws, chocolate syrup and a bit of wind power. Tom Taylor, left, and John Wasson of Ludington, Mich., show how easily a restaurant ceiling can be "redecorated" by dipping the straw's tissue casing into syrup and shooting it like a blowgun up into the air.

What could be more satisfying than the confusion of a friend or foe when they receive a pickle in the mail with a mysterious note? The answer you ask? Nothing. So get on it, and send those expecto patronads a damn pickle!