Category:
Business

Follies of the Madmen #443



A toilet seat is never, ever going to resonate with "jewels."

Source.

Posted By: Paul - Tue Sep 10, 2019 - Comments (4)
Category: Business, Advertising, Domestic, Interior Decorating, Body Fluids, Excrement, Flatulence, 1960s

The MBAs - Born to Run Things

Describing themselves as “the world’s first pro-business rock ’n’ roll band,” the MBAs came out in 1982 with their first (and, I believe, only) album, titled Born to Run Things.

It included songs such as "Inside Information," "Jesus H. Chrysler," "Good Old Boys Raising Keynes", and "Amortize It."



I can’t find any samples of their music online, but if interested you can pick up a vinyl copy of their album on eBay for $19.99.

In the absence of any of the actual music, here are the lyrics to "Bessy," described in the liner notes as “a rock ballad for Bethlehem Steel.”

Bessy,
Let me tell you that if you’re in doubt,
I’ll re-tool quickly, and we can iron things out,
Bessy,
I just want to be specific,
I’ll shun foreign interest
and things’ll be ‘tarrific’.

(CHORUS:) Bessy,
You can’t let your workers go,
Bessy,
You got to put up a fight,
Cause Bessy, I won’t let you throw
Steel away, steel away, steel away,
Into the night.

Bessy,
Productivity is dropping,
And even though I’m with you
it won’t all be Bliss and Laughlin.
Bessy,
You know I’m not here to condemn
The only thing I want from life
is to be your Star of Bethlehem.


Incidentally, their album is also for sale on Amazon, where it's clear that all 5 of the reviews for it have mistaken it for Bruce Springsteen's Born to Run.

More info: people.com

Posted By: Alex - Tue Sep 03, 2019 - Comments (2)
Category: Business, Music, 1980s

Follies of the Madmen #442



Those who drink our booze are eccentric tree-climbing idiots.

Source.

Posted By: Paul - Sat Aug 31, 2019 - Comments (2)
Category: Bad Habits, Neuroses and Psychoses, Business, Advertising, 1960s, Alcohol

Follies of the Madmen #441



Not sure how a different color motor oil is better for your car. Don't think the advertiser can tell us either.

Source.

Posted By: Paul - Mon Aug 26, 2019 - Comments (4)
Category: Business, Advertising, Motor Vehicles, 1950s

Follies of the Madmen #440



"Even nice people perspire." Nice in this case being the polo-playing upper crust.

Source.

Posted By: Paul - Sun Aug 18, 2019 - Comments (4)
Category: Business, Advertising, Hygiene

Follies of the Madmen #439



No cereal that has touched dirty baby butt is going in my dish!

Source.

Posted By: Paul - Tue Aug 13, 2019 - Comments (4)
Category: Babies, Business, Advertising, Food, Hygiene, 1900s

Follies of the Madmen #438



Extra credit for the chutzpah of the "full chest" pun. But seriously, if women buy the linens for the home, who is this ad directed at?

Source.

Posted By: Paul - Mon Aug 05, 2019 - Comments (2)
Category: Business, Advertising, Domestic, Innuendo, Double Entendres, Symbolism, Nudge-Nudge-Wink-Wink and Subliminal Messages, 1950s

Follies of the Madmen #437



1) A bicycle tire confusingly has the same name as a razor blade company.

2) The mascot for the tire is a hyper-dimensional polar bear. These creatures apparently represent all that is desirable in a tire.

3) Even with its magic powers, the hyper-dimensional polar bear does not act to save the victim directly, but makes the human boy do all the work.

4) Moral: buy our tires to avoid snake bites?

Source (page 20).

Posted By: Paul - Sun Jul 28, 2019 - Comments (5)
Category: Accidents, Anthropomorphism, Bicycles and Other Human-powered Vehicles, Business, Advertising, Corporate Mascots, Icons and Spokesbeings, Comics

Follies of the Madmen #436



Those are plainly loony bin attendants in the background, denoting that this clothing line is worn by crazy people. Gratuitous tape recorder also puzzling.

Source.

Posted By: Paul - Mon Jul 22, 2019 - Comments (5)
Category: Business, Advertising, Fashion, 1960s, Brain Damage

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Alex Boese
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction, science-themed books such as Elephants on Acid and Psychedelic Apes.

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Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.

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