Stupid Criminals

Stolen Lampposts

Police in Lelystad (the Netherlands) arrested a man who was driving with two stolen lampposts strapped to the top of his car. They posted the following picture to their Facebook page.

Google Translate provides the following translation of the picture's caption (and I think Google translate has been getting better lately, because this translation is fairly comprehensible):

This morning around 10:00 the police reported a passenger car riding from Almere to Lelystad with two huge lampposts on the roof. At the Oostvaardersdijk in Lelystad the combination was held and the driver checked.

We start with the traffic violations. That the cargo can not be transported in this way may be clear. In addition, the car was not insured and the APK had been running for more than three months. The driver's license B was declared invalid by the end of 2016. The colleagues smoke with the driver an alcoholic air. However, he refused to cooperate with a blow test on which he was arrested. Expectation is that the court will demand the highest possible penalty for driving under the influence of alcohol because the suspect did not cooperate with the investigation.

The investigation investigated the origin of the lampposts. These are most likely stolen in Almere. In addition, there appeared to be other criminal investigations to the suspect, such as refueling without paying.

The suspect is embedded in the cell complex and has now been insured. The car has been seized.

In summary, seems that the guy was drunk, uninsured, had an expired driver's license, and was driving around with two stolen lampposts on top of his car.

My question is, what was he planning to do with the lampposts?

Posted By: Alex - Sat Aug 05, 2017 - Comments (6)
Category: Crime, Stupid Criminals, Cars

Unauthorized Dwellings 2

"BIG PINE KEY, Fla. (AP) – Authorities say a Louisiana woman living illegally in a vacant home in Florida answered the door naked when a sheriff’s deputy stopped by to investigate..."

Full story here.

Posted By: Paul - Fri May 19, 2017 - Comments (2)
Category: Stupid Criminals, Unauthorized Dwellings, Nudism

An Unfortunate Error

Marshall George Cummings, Jr. of Oklahoma was charged with snatching a purse from a woman on October 14, 1976. His case came to trial in January 1977, and Cummings asked to represent himself, which the court allowed. However, during the cross-examination of witnesses, Cummings proceeded to make what the state later described as an "unfortunate error." He conducted the cross-examination in the first person. Specifically, he asked the main witness, "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?" The jury found him guilty, and he was sentenced to ten years in prison.

Cummings later appealed his sentence, arguing that the court had erred by allowing him to represent himself and that "there was not a knowing and intelligent waiver of the right to counsel." As proof of this he pointed to his blunders during the trial. The state argued back that his incompetence could not have been foreseen in advance, and that he had been fully advised of his rights.

Cummings also complained that the prosecutor had used prejudicial "showboating" tactics during the trial. For instance, Cummings alleged that at one point the prosecutor had removed a document from his file "in a manner reminiscent of a musketeer unsheathing his sword to do battle with enemies of the king."

The appellate court decided that the errors cited by Cummings weren't sufficient to reverse his conviction. However, it did modify his sentence, reducing it from ten years to five.

You can read the full text of the appellate court's decision at

Asbury Park Press - Jan 5, 1977

Posted By: Alex - Tue Nov 29, 2016 - Comments (2)
Category: Stupid Criminals, 1970s

The Importance of Penmanship

Original article here.

1) Butler steals $350,000 worth of jewelry. (This was in 1937, so really worth $5,849,059.03.)

2) Mails jewels in package to a preset postal drop.

3) Scrawls address so badly, jewels delivered to innocent young girl.

4) Kerblooey.

Posted By: Paul - Thu Sep 08, 2016 - Comments (1)
Category: Stupid Criminals, Children, 1930s

Lets Go To The Video

If, as a family, you are going to plot a murder and make it look like self defense on your own property then perhaps you should turn off your surveillance camera. Father, son and daughter caught themselves setting up the daughter's boyfriend's murder and let the police get the video as well because Florida.

Posted By: patty - Thu Apr 07, 2016 - Comments (3)
Category: Stupid Criminals, Goofs and Screw-ups

Forgot to Chew Off The Tat Too

Kirk Kelly was picked up in a traffic stop in Tallmadge, Ohio. To avoid having his true identity revealed he lied about his name and then sat in the back of a cruiser and chewed off his fingerprints. The police subsequently identified him by a tattoo. I have to specify, although Kirk was picked up in Ohio, he was originally from Florida- the WTF state.

Posted By: patty - Sun Mar 06, 2016 - Comments (3)
Category: Stupid Criminals, Tattoos, Goofs and Screw-ups

A Strange “Robbery”


Original article here.

Posted By: Paul - Wed Feb 17, 2016 - Comments (9)
Category: Stupid Criminals, 1970s, Brain Damage

Death By Condom Machine

Three men decided to boost a condom machine and blow it open to get at the condoms, and presumably, the money inside. They set up the blast and ran to their vehicle for cover. Unfortunately the last guy in the car did not get his door shut in time and was struck in the head by a piece of the machine when it blew up. He later died at the hospital, Darwin Award.

Posted By: patty - Mon Dec 28, 2015 - Comments (15)
Category: Accidents, Goofs and Screw-ups, Crime, Stupid Criminals, Death

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Alex Boese
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction books such as Elephants on Acid.

Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.

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