Category:
Stupid Criminals

An Unfortunate Error

Marshall George Cummings, Jr. of Oklahoma was charged with snatching a purse from a woman on October 14, 1976. His case came to trial in January 1977, and Cummings asked to represent himself, which the court allowed. However, during the cross-examination of witnesses, Cummings proceeded to make what the state later described as an "unfortunate error." He conducted the cross-examination in the first person. Specifically, he asked the main witness, "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?" The jury found him guilty, and he was sentenced to ten years in prison.

Cummings later appealed his sentence, arguing that the court had erred by allowing him to represent himself and that "there was not a knowing and intelligent waiver of the right to counsel." As proof of this he pointed to his blunders during the trial. The state argued back that his incompetence could not have been foreseen in advance, and that he had been fully advised of his rights.

Cummings also complained that the prosecutor had used prejudicial "showboating" tactics during the trial. For instance, Cummings alleged that at one point the prosecutor had removed a document from his file "in a manner reminiscent of a musketeer unsheathing his sword to do battle with enemies of the king."

The appellate court decided that the errors cited by Cummings weren't sufficient to reverse his conviction. However, it did modify his sentence, reducing it from ten years to five.

You can read the full text of the appellate court's decision at Justia.com.

Asbury Park Press - Jan 5, 1977

Posted By: Alex - Tue Nov 29, 2016 - Comments (2)
Category: Stupid Criminals, 1970s

The Importance of Penmanship





Original article here.

1) Butler steals $350,000 worth of jewelry. (This was in 1937, so really worth $5,849,059.03.)

2) Mails jewels in package to a preset postal drop.

3) Scrawls address so badly, jewels delivered to innocent young girl.

4) Kerblooey.

Posted By: Paul - Thu Sep 08, 2016 - Comments (1)
Category: Stupid Criminals, Children, 1930s

Lets Go To The Video

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If, as a family, you are going to plot a murder and make it look like self defense on your own property then perhaps you should turn off your surveillance camera. Father, son and daughter caught themselves setting up the daughter's boyfriend's murder and let the police get the video as well because Florida.

Posted By: patty - Thu Apr 07, 2016 - Comments (3)
Category: Stupid Criminals, Goofs and Screw-ups

Forgot to Chew Off The Tat Too

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Kirk Kelly was picked up in a traffic stop in Tallmadge, Ohio. To avoid having his true identity revealed he lied about his name and then sat in the back of a cruiser and chewed off his fingerprints. The police subsequently identified him by a tattoo. I have to specify, although Kirk was picked up in Ohio, he was originally from Florida- the WTF state.

Posted By: patty - Sun Mar 06, 2016 - Comments (3)
Category: Stupid Criminals, Tattoos, Goofs and Screw-ups

A Strange “Robbery”

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Original article here.

Posted By: Paul - Wed Feb 17, 2016 - Comments (9)
Category: Stupid Criminals, 1970s, Brain Damage

Death By Condom Machine

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Three men decided to boost a condom machine and blow it open to get at the condoms, and presumably, the money inside. They set up the blast and ran to their vehicle for cover. Unfortunately the last guy in the car did not get his door shut in time and was struck in the head by a piece of the machine when it blew up. He later died at the hospital, Darwin Award.

Posted By: patty - Mon Dec 28, 2015 - Comments (15)
Category: Accidents, Goofs and Screw-ups, Crime, Stupid Criminals, Death

Police Inquiry Cut Short

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A Circumcision Ambulance was stolen in Great Britain. They have Circumcision Ambulances in Great Britain and they do in home circumcisions. As mentioned above the police inquiry was cut short when a private citizens neighborhood watch group tweeted about finding the abandoned car.

Posted By: patty - Sat Dec 05, 2015 - Comments (10)
Category: Body Modifications, Crime, Stupid Criminals, Genitals

Faux Phones

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More brilliant criminals here in Ohio in the state capital, Columbus, no less. Apparently some high tech geniuses used rocks to smash in the back door of a Verizon store and took all the display phones. The display phones are dummies, you know like the thieves. Real cell phones are locked in a vault at night due to a previous successful robbery. When they get caught they won't be able to hold their heads up in jail amongst the real criminals.

Posted By: patty - Fri Sep 18, 2015 - Comments (5)
Category: Imitations, Forgeries, Rip-offs and Faux, Stupid Criminals, Your Daily Loser

Genitalia Vandalism

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Genitalia vandalism, the funniest phrase I have ever seen, is how they refer to someone going through an Ikea drawing penises on everything, in Denmark. Not the first definition I'd have thought of but it works. Also, no, it was not some kid who was bored while mom shopped. A 31 year old grown man went through an Ikea and drew 30 penises on various items in the store. Bet his Mama is proud.

Posted By: patty - Tue Aug 25, 2015 - Comments (4)
Category: Stupid Criminals, Retailing, Genitals

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Alex Boese
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction books such as Elephants on Acid.

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