In an article published on arXiv.org, Andy Haverly of the Rochester Institute of Technology has proposed a radical solution to global warming. His idea is to detonate an 81 Gt nuclear bomb three kilometers beneath the Kerguelen Plateau in the Southern Ocean.
By way of comparison, an 81 Gt bomb would be 1600 times larger than the Tsar Bomba, the largest nuke ever exploded to date.
According to Haverly's calculations, the explosion would pulverize 3.86 trillions tons of basalt, which would in turn then soak up 1.08 trillion tons of carbon dioxide. That's about 30 years worth of carbon dioxide emissions.
As for safety:
Nuclear explosions are inherently unsafe. They release vast amounts of uncontrolled energy. However, by detonating this nuclear device in a controlled environment we can minimize the impacts. By detonating this nuclear device in a remote location deep in the ocean, the only expected effect on humans is from nuclear radiation. First, this comes in the form of surface radiation and fallout. Because this explosion is so remote and can be timed favorably with the weather, there is little to no expected loss of life from the immediate radiation effects. The long-term effects of global radiation will impact humans and will cause loss of life, but this increased global radiation is “just a drop in the bucket”. Every year, we emit more radiation from coal power plants and we have already detonated over 2000 nuclear devices. Adding one more bomb should have minimal impact on the world.
An interesting idea, but I wonder if we would then be exploding one of these things every thirty years?
The requirements for a good husband were: One you don't have to replace every few years (durable), not flashy, not troublesome, steady and well-balanced.
The ideal wife, on the other hand (according to the Tel-Tech Corporation), was exciting and beautiful in the integrity of design, required no periodic maintenance, and served you with absolute trust and dependability year after year.
Also: "You recover the cost in just a few months and then you are dollars ahead every day. Perfect host to any terminal, handles intermixed speeds, and adapts easily from 2 to 38 channels. Available immediately. Just plug in and go."
Researchers have uncovered the "social dimensions of urination" among captive chimpanzees. This topic had previously been "largely unexplored."
They recorded urination events for a total of 604 hours and calculated urination frequency for each subject. They report:
Contagious urination, like other forms of behavioral and emotional state matching, may have important implications in establishing and maintaining social cohesion, in addition to potential roles in preparation for collective departure (i.e. voiding before long-distance travel) and territorial scent-marking (i.e. coordination of chemosensory signals)...
we find that in captive chimpanzees the act of urination is socially contagious. Further, low-dominance individuals had higher rates of contagion.
I guess the obvious question is whether humans also are susceptible to contagious urination. I haven't noticed it, if we are.
Patent No. 12208507 recently granted to Fikret Korhan Turan and Gül Coruh of Istanbul.
The invention relates to a humanoid interview robot used in the field of human resources (HR), which can conduct job interviews.
Communication with the candidate interviewed by the interview robot according to the invention is provided via camera (U1), microphone (U2), odor sensor (U3), speaker (U4) and touch sensors (U5). The camera (U1) is preferably mounted on the eye of the interview robot, microphone (U2) is mounted on the ears, odor sensor (U3) is mounted on its nose, speaker (U4) is mounted on its mouth, and touch sensors (U5) are mounted on its chin or synthetic skin. These elements enable the candidate to respond verbally or in writing to the questions asked to determine the utility functions for economic, social and environmental qualities by specifying his/her identity information.
Apart from their technical capabilities, U1, U2, U3, U4 and U5 elements are customized to collect all kinds of visual, auditory, tactile, etc. data about the candidate so as to include qualifications or competencies such as the candidate's appearance, his/her self-care treatment, stress status, etc. in the decision-making process.
The interview robot has odor sensors. It can smell your fear.
Alex and I noted some tiny, tiny flareups in the comments about who's being a jerk and who isn't. I refuse to believe that ANYONE in this select audience is an intentional jerk. Alex and I are extremely grateful to have you all as readers and commenters. We wouldn't be doing this blog without your support and the pleasure of your company.
Anyhow, everyone take a chill pill and stand by for more of the patented Weirdness you've come to know and love. I invoke this in the name of Saint Chuck Shepherd, long may his memory survive.
Back in 1947, Dr. T.M. Pearce, a professor of English at the University of New Mexico, noted that World War II had speeded up the use of acronyms in English. He predicted, "tomorrow's English may contain more and more of acronym and abbreviation."
He sure was right about that.
Muskogee Daily Phoenix and Times-Democrat - Aug 19, 1947
Thomas Matthews Pearce was a Professor of English at the University of New Mexico for over 35 years and the author of numerous books and articles on the English language and folklore. He was born in Covington, Kentucky, 1902, died Albuquerque, New Mexico, 1986.