Category:
Cows

Please Poop, Mr. Cow!

Although modern science has been able to send a man to the moon, it has not been able to make cows poop on command. An effort to solve this shortcoming is described in a recent issue of Applied Animal Behaviour Science.

The thing is, it would be really nice, for the purpose of general hygiene, if farmers could convince cows to stop pooping wherever they felt like it. So researchers devised a series of tests to see if prompts such as walking through a footbath, or being exposed to blasts of air or water, could stimulate bovine defecation. No such luck. The researchers concluded, "None of our tests reliably stimulated defecation, which seemed to occur most when cows were exposed to novelty."


Posted By: Alex - Sun Feb 17, 2013 - Comments (7)
Category: Science, Experiments, Farming, Cows, Excrement

CowCows

Your challenge is to guess whether this product is real or imaginary. The answer is below in extended.

Product Description: CowCows (aka VACHEMENT VACHE). Created by designer Cyprien Côté.

Completely 'fed up' with seeing cows unsuccessfully wipe flies from their eyes, [Côté] came up with an ear extender that could be used by the cow to fully remove any pest that was bothering them. They were made out of a super-soft material and cost about fifty cents (Canadian) per set.





More in extended >>

Posted By: Alex - Sun Jan 27, 2013 - Comments (2)
Category: Inventions, Cows

The Uprising of the Cows

We've been warning about the threat posed by cows for quite a while here on WU (see here, here, and here), and recent news confirms the danger they pose. A 68-year-old woman was walking her dog in a field in rural England, when she was attacked and trampled by cows. Her dog survived. And just a few months ago, a 46-year-old hiker in England was similarly attacked and trampled by cows. Has the uprising of the cows begun? [ibtimes.co.uk]

The linked article includes some tips on what to do should you find yourself facing a field of potentially hostile cows:
  • avoid entering the field
  • let go of your dog if the cows charge
  • don't try to outrun the cows
  • run downhill if possible
  • make yourself as loud and big as possible

Posted By: Alex - Mon Oct 15, 2012 - Comments (20)
Category: Violence, Cows

Swiss Cows Text When Horny

The latest in weird cow news: a sensor implanted in some Swiss cows can detect when the cows are in heat. It sends a text message to the farmer when the cow is in the mood, who can then arrange to have a bull brought in to mate. Apparently this is all necessary because cows are in the mood far less often nowadays (the cow version of 'not tonight, I've got a headache') because of the stress of farmers constantly milking them. [cbs local]

Posted By: Alex - Sat Oct 06, 2012 - Comments (3)
Category: Technology, Cows

Purebred Nazi Cows

I was aware that during the late 1930s the Nazis used all kinds of flimsy pretexts to shut down Jewish businesses in Germany — claiming, for instance, that the businesses had violated various obscure regulations that no one had ever heard of before. But until I came across the news clipping below (NY Post, Jan 13, 1936), I hadn't realized that this effort included decrees to prevent the "race defilement" of cows, by forbidding Jewish-owned cows from mating with "Aryan" bulls. I assume that once the cows were acquired by 'Aryan' farmers, their Jewish origin was quickly forgotten. [Jewish News Archive]

Posted By: Alex - Sun Aug 26, 2012 - Comments (6)
Category: Racism, Cows

Cow Artist

Sculptor Joe Fafard is inspired by cows to create art. How could he not be at home on WU?



Posted By: Paul - Fri Jun 26, 2009 - Comments (0)
Category: Art, Regionalism, Cows, North America

Cows that attack rabbits

More evidence of the violent nature of cows. You might be innocently wandering in a field, minding your own business, when what you thought was a cow will start shooting at you with an air rifle.

Of course, in the above scenario, "you" are a rabbit, and the cow is a tractor camouflaged as a cow. You see, British farmers are camouflaging their tractors as cows in order to be able to sneak up on rabbits and shoot them. The BBC has a video.

Posted By: Alex - Thu May 07, 2009 - Comments (9)
Category: Cows

Happy cows have names

News from the frontiers of science: Researchers have discovered that if you address cows by name, they produce more milk.

The theory is that calling a cow by its name has a soothing effect on it. It feels more relaxed. Whereas unnamed, stressed out cows produce the hormone cortisol which suppresses milk production.

However, researchers warn that "just giving cows a name" probably won't do much. Ya gotta establish a relationship with the cow. Let it know you care. Link: Scientific American.

Posted By: Alex - Fri Feb 06, 2009 - Comments (9)
Category: Science, Cows

Cow Festival in Switzerland

Each year the cows of Switzerland get to wear pretty hats.

Read all about the tradition here, then watch a few seconds of video.


Cow Festival in Mels from jillnachtman on Vimeo.

Posted By: Paul - Sun Dec 14, 2008 - Comments (0)
Category: Fashion, Holidays, Parades and Festivals, Foreign Customs, Cows, Europe

Cow Mattresses

image
Here at WEIRD UNIVERSE, we're all aware of the danger to humanity that killer cows represent. Is it smart then, I ask, that these ravening beasts should be coddled with Cozy Cow Mattresses? Just look at the smug, even seductive expression on that evil creature's face!

Posted By: Paul - Fri Oct 24, 2008 - Comments (11)
Category: Business, Products, Cows

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Who We Are
Alex Boese
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction, science-themed books such as Elephants on Acid and Psychedelic Apes.

Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.

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