Category:
Inebriation and Intoxicants

Secret Techniques of the Electric Company & Party of Five:  Not Much Brighter Than the Original

I have two news oddities to present from one of my local papers. The first from The Greensburg Daily News I didn't think was so odd, I would expect the electric company to do such things to avoid displacing wildlife, but I couldn't figure out if the 'secret technique' was really an extraordinary trade secret (I would actually expect them to want to share such info so other companies could put it to use), or just a case of a lazy reporter.
The second from the same paper details five new residents of the county jail. Alas, there is only one mugshot. These five actually had uniformed police knock on their door, and they didn't answer. So the police set up a perimeter around their apartment for two hours while waiting for the search warrant. With two hours to play with, none of the suspects noticed a cop banging on the door or the perimeter placed around their apartment? And they couldn't destroy a small amount of dope and paraphernalia in the meantime?

Posted By: qualityleashdog - Wed Mar 03, 2010 - Comments (4)
Category: Animals, Drugs, Inebriation and Intoxicants, Stupidity, Stupid Criminals, Your Daily Jury Duty

Weird Shorts - Boys and Girls

love
It’s an old excuse, whenever a man is caught eyeing-up another woman by his partner we’ll often claim that it’s not our fault, it’s just the way we’re wired. Well not according to neuroscientists at Gwinnett College in Georgia. Researchers there monitored the brain activity of 14 men while showing them pictures of women’s behinds taken before and after surgery designed to give them Beyonce like curves. The scans showed ‘reward areas’ of the men’s brains more commonly associated with drugs or alcohol lit up more in response to the redesigned rumps. In other words, we do it because we like it (Orange).

But if what most attracts men is a great set of lady bumps, what would top women’s list of desirable traits in their perfect man? That’s what online matchmakers UKDating wanted to know, so they analysed the responses of 83,000 lovelorn women to find the top ten most wanted male characteristics. And number one was… a salary over £50k ($75k). Bizarrely, being good looking came in at number 9, just above being 5’11” tall and five places below owning an Audi TT. But do girls really only like cars and money, or does this finding perhaps explain why these particular girls had to resort to a dating service in the first place (News://Lite)?

The economics of relationships also features in the new book from Karyn Langhorne Folan. In Don’t Bring Home A White Boy, Folan describes today’s black women as being stuck in “market failure”, with college educated black women outnumbering their male counterparts by 3 to 1. This severely restricts the women’s options unless they look outside their own race. “In this case, we are the commodity and the new market is men of other races,” states Foley, who is herself a Harvard-educated lawyer, “it’s Econ 101 for the single, educated black woman” (STL Today).

Mind you, women aren’t always a commodity, sometimes they’re the consumer. At least that’s what Cuban cigar maker Habanos is hoping. In an effort to boost sales in a market hit hard by anti-smoking legislation the world-over, Habanos have produced what they’re billing as the first Cuban cigar specifically for female smokers. Their new Julieta brand is smaller and milder in hopes of being more appealing to women, but still manages to keep that phallic edge to its image (Sky News).



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Posted By: Dumbfounded - Mon Mar 01, 2010 - Comments (5)
Category: Business, Education, Ethnic Groupings, Inebriation and Intoxicants, Sexuality, Stupid Criminals, Goofs and Screw-ups

A Little Light Weirdness - 6

When the O'Gorman family encountered still opposition to their proposal to demolish the Edwardian house they owned and use the land for six modern properties they were probably a little miffed, or more than a little, if the name they chose to give the development is anything to go by. Having been given a green light by the local council, the O'Gormans announced that the new cul-de-sac was to be called "Pogue Muhone Court". Pogue Muhone is a phonetic English equivalent to the Gaelic "pog mo thoin", which means "kiss my ass" (Telegraph).

And if kissing ass isn’t your thing, perhaps you’d like to crawl through one instead? You can at a new exhibit called Grossology, which opens at the Museum of Discovery and Science in Fort Lauderdale on Saturday. Subtitled “The (Impolite) Science of the Human Body” the exhibits also include a tour of the nose, a giant replica of human skin and an interactive experiment in flatulence called “Burp Man” (Miami Herald).

Not kissing but kicking ass are the pensioners of Bavaria in Germany, who decided not to take the credit crunch lying down. After their financial adviser, James Amburn, handed them losses in excess of 2.3 million euros, five OAPs tracked him to his home in Speyer, kidnapped him, and tortured him into faxing a Swiss bank for the money to pay them back. Instead he managed to alert the police. Mr. Amburn later confided that his four day ordeal was perhaps extended by his kidnappers having to stop a while when they ran out of breath (Mirror).

Also taking a little longer than usual were the German actors appearing in Erofeev’s satirical play “Moscow to the End of the Line”, alternatively billed as a “crazy depiction of one of the most famous alcoholic benders in world literature”. In an ill-considered attempt at method acting four of the performers decided to swap the water in the props for real vodka “as an experiment", only to fall off their chairs, and the stage, before inviting audience members to take a swig. They were later taken to hospital under a police escort to have their stomachs pumped (Guardian).

More outrage now, this time from Great Britain, where in a clear breach of their normal high standards of decorum, British mums have been seen shopping in the Tesco supermarket chain in pyjamas and slippers. In fact more outrage seems to have been directed at Tescos, who have implemented a dress code and now escort anyone so attired from their premises, than at the mums, They should all just be thankful they don’t have Walmarts, that’s all I’m saying (Mirror).

Posted By: Dumbfounded - Fri Jan 29, 2010 - Comments (3)
Category: Body, Buildings and Other Structures, Fashion, Inebriation and Intoxicants, Shopping, Body Fluids, Excrement, Flatulence, Alcohol, Goofs and Screw-ups

Kickin’ It With The Kitties

A few months ago, an inspired couple went digging through their old photographs to find just one that didn't involve alcohol. Unfortunately it seemed that all of their trips down memory lane included mass quantities of beer (and what's wrong with that?). But those types of photos can make a negative statement when posted on social sites like Facebook and when found by employers, or even worse, mom and dad. The quick fix? Replace all of the beer with cats. Yes, cats. And thus, Boozecats was born! So kick back with a tall, frosty Himalayan and enjoy the weirdness.

Posted By: Nethie - Thu Dec 10, 2009 - Comments (8)
Category: Animals, Inebriation and Intoxicants, Cats

Another Helping of Food Related Weirdness - 5

2009 marks the 20th anniversary of the first Wallace and Gromit film, A grand Day Out, which introduced the cheese-loving inventor and his more practical pooch to the world. So popular have these characters become that they are credited with saving the British cheese industry (Sky News), and perhaps even the whole UK economy (Telegraph). So the timing was probably a bit inopportune for the voice of Wallis, Peter Sallis, to admit that he never touches the stuff (Telegraph).

This year also marks the 20th anniversary of the coming down of the Berlin Wall, so what better way to celebrate than by building a new one, out of chocolate. Patrick Roger, a chocolatier from Paris France, decided to commemorate the historic reunification of East and West Germany by building a 15m long replica of the wall out of 900 kg of chocolate, complete with uncanny reproductions of the spray painted graffiti made with coloured cocoa butter. The chocolate wall was later "torn down" and broken up on November 9th, exactly 20 years after the original (ChocoParis).

And this isn’t the only feat of chocolate engineering in recent weeks. The “New World Whakatane” Bakery, from Australia's "baby brother" New Zealand, set a Guinness World Record this month for baking the world’s largest chocolate log. At over 35 metres in length and weighing in at nearly 78 kilos, the confectionary monster smashed the previous record of a measly 10 metres, but fell short of the 50 metres they had hoped for. Once the new record had been verified, the log was cut into slices and sold to raise money for a teenage cancer charity (TVNZ).

Still more gargantuan grub now as hundreds of students from the University of California at Berkeley became sushi chefs for a day by helping to roll a 330 foot “California roll” to celebrate the 50th anniversary of UoC’s Center for Japanese Studies. The sushi roll broke the previous record of 300 feet, and contained 200 lbs of rice and 180 lbs of fish, the last 15 feet was made with tofu for the benefit of attending vegetarians (Boston Herald).



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Posted By: Dumbfounded - Fri Nov 20, 2009 - Comments (3)
Category: Anniversary, Awards, Prizes, Competitions and Contests, Education, Food, Nutrition, Inebriation and Intoxicants, Historical Figure

A Little Light Weirdness - 5

They say news travels fast, but in the speed stakes it can’t hold a candle to dumb. Circling the blogosphere like an angry Superman is news that security guard Jason Cooke has managed to sight the Loch Ness monster on Google Earth. The object, which Cooke claims exactly matches the descriptions of Nessie, is clearly visible as a quadrupedal, long-necked plesiosaur-like creature, and in no way could be the wake behind a boat or anything mundane like that. This latest find comes as a relief to many cryptozoologists, who had expressed concerns that the dearth of recent sightings might mean Nessie had fallen victim to Global Warming (Telegraph).

Or perhaps this is simply proof that Scottish universities have got the jump on their transatlantic counterparts? In a move nearly, but not quite, totally unlike Jurassic Park, Professor Hans Larsson of McGill University in Montreal has announced that he hopes to de-evolve chickens back into their dinosaur ancestors. Larsson stressed that he is not aiming to recreate whole dinosaurs at this time, but by switching on or off certain genes in chick embryos he hopes to induce atavistic dinosaur anatomy in the full grown animals (AFP).



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Posted By: Dumbfounded - Wed Aug 26, 2009 - Comments (12)
Category: Animals, Ceremonies, Weddings, Contests, Races and Other Competitions, Cryptozoology, Fictional Monsters, Fairs, Amusement Parks, and Resorts, Geography and Maps, Inebriation and Intoxicants, Nature, Science, Experiments, Surrealism

Follies of the Mad Men #65


[From Look magazine for 3-4-58.]

Worst. Cocktail Recipe. Ever!

Posted By: Paul - Mon Apr 27, 2009 - Comments (7)
Category: Business, Advertising, Products, Food, Inebriation and Intoxicants

Drunken African Animals

Posted By: Paul - Sun Apr 19, 2009 - Comments (7)
Category: Animals, Inebriation and Intoxicants, Africa

The Sourtoe Cocktail Club

The rules for joining the Sourtoe Cocktail Club are simple. Go to the Downtown Hotel in Dawson City, Yukon. While there consume any drink that has floating in it a severed human toe that has been dehydrated and preserved in salt. The bar conveniently keeps a supply of such toes. While consuming the drink, your lips must touch the toe. And that's it. You're a member of the club.

The rules used to be a bit more strict. Namely, that the toe had to be floating in a beer glass full of champagne. But over the years they've relaxed that requirement.

If you're really brave, you can order a Five Toe Sourtoe Cocktail.

The tradition dates from 1973 when a dried up toe was discovered that, legend had it, belonged to a 1920s rum-smuggler named Louie Liken. What better use for the toe, the hotel figured, than to put it in a drink. Over the years the original toe was lost, but apparently it hasn't been hard to find replacements.

Posted By: Alex - Fri Apr 03, 2009 - Comments (9)
Category: Body, Food, Inebriation and Intoxicants

Mugshots of Moonshiners

Mugshots of Southern moonshiners, from Life Magazine (Jan 1, 1940):


During 1939, agents working out of Atlanta destroyed $423946-worth of illicit distilling apparatus. But this comparatively small figure represented 4325 stills, with a total estimated capacity of 650000 gallons per day.
Of the convicted moonshiners above, most famous is Theressa Brown (fourth row, center). Known to agents as "Queen of the Bootleggers," she has been arrested 22 times, mostly for liquor-law violation, but once for arson, once for shooting her husband.

Posted By: Alex - Thu Mar 26, 2009 - Comments (14)
Category: Crime, Inebriation and Intoxicants, 1940s

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Who We Are
Alex Boese
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction, science-themed books such as Elephants on Acid and Psychedelic Apes.

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Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.

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